the big douche and the vapid twits

darren pisses me off.   i can get quite lathered up about him because he has been in my life for the past decade or longer.  i've actually known him longer than i've known ch which is quite sad.  he dated my cousin for quite a while before they finally called it quits.  there was a moment in time where i wished they'd get back together so it would all be ticketty boo again.  i'm glad it never worked out that way.

darren started repeating the same pattern with crista, the first girl he moved in with once he moved out of yyc.  met her in a safeway, and like all the girls before him, basically had her living with him within three weeks.  he'd bring her to conventions and on trips and the two of us got along quite well.  of course there was plenty of douchebaggery going on behind the scenes, thanks to his insecurities, but for the most part i got along with crista quite well. 

i still keep in touch with her and she has since moved on from darren to someone else who i hope to god treats her well.  it seems that most of the girls he's dated always move onto much brighter pastures with guys who worship them.  they deserve it.  i cant help but think of my cousin and the 7 yrs of torment she went through dealing with him and when i think of her current husband now, i have to breathe a huge sigh of relief because she got out and away from darren's bullshit.

darren's now dating a young tart.  she's definitely arm candy, but that's about it.  i met her in mexico last year and altho we got along well, his douchebaggery kicked into full gear the next day where we were the target of his wrath and insecurities.  i played the role of counsellor all fucking day long as she lamented their night before fight and i knew that everything that was going on with them was just another scene in the endless 2 act play that is darren. 

it's the same deal with every chick he dates:

ACT ONE--meet the girl; smother her with gifts, kindess, affection, profess love in the early stages of courtship; demand she spend any and all waking time with him; eventually get to the point where she moves in.  give her your bank card, take her on trips.

ACT TWO--alienate her from her friends and family by either declaring out loud that you hate her friends or refuse to attend family functions, or both simultaneously; pick fights on trips.  it could be as easy as what she did or didnt say, how she did or didnt hold his hand or look like arm candy, or maybe how she did hold his hand all night long but wouldnt socialize.  threaten to break up with her while on said vacation and tell her all her shit has to be out by the time they get home.  insist and demand that she owe him a huge apology for her perceived and undefined rude behaviour.  gamely take her teary apologies, but always throw in blackmail that ex girlfriends would gladly step in, in a heartbeat to take your place.  rinse and repeat over various invisible hurts and always threaten the most extreme measure. 

sometimes this two act play takes place over the course of a couple months, sometimes it's a few years, but inevitably it's always the same thing.

i get quite exhausted listening to these girls lament about darren.  believe me, i've heard it all over a decade ago how he treated my cousin and i hated him so much for it then.  now i just find myself getting quite tired  of it all and wondering when he'll ever break his own pattern and start acting normally.  he's one year younger than me, yet is still stuck in the same hamster wheel of dating and mating.

i dont get it.  what i'd love to see is him being single for a long time.  actually taking the time to get to know someone before asking her to move in.  and by time i'm talking 6 months.  see her once a week, not every day.  dont have sleepovers either until you've been dating more than 2 months.  hey, i'm not saying this would be a surefire way to eliminate douchebaggery, but if it breaks A pattern of destruction, then why not?

i like his current girlfriend, but i can definitely find ways to avoid her.  i did that in vancouver and i can most certainly do it in maui.  the less i see of him, the happier i am.  he's been around ruining way too many things in the past, so i most definitely want to be as far away from him as possible.  the last time i actually hung out with erin, darren accused us of whoring around yyc, when all we did was go to the spa and then to dinner in our hotel.  in the meantime, he had promised her he'd be home by 10 at the latest and crawled in at 2am....riiiiiiiight, erin's the whore.

i foresee a lot more fights and nonsense in maui.  i'm prepared this time.  i've told ch that he is free to do as he wishes with darren.  if that means i spend a lot of time on my own on the beach, in the spa, or in the markets, then so be it.  i'm perfectly content to be by myself because i know there is no drama.

why these girls stay with him is beyond me.  he's like fucking jekyl and hyde...