Soup!

today i made this soup...it was yummy...

carrot/yam/squash ginger soup

1.5l chicken stock (i make my own)
3 large carrots grated
2 medium onions
1/2 squash (any variety will do)
2 medium sized yams, approx 3 cups
2tbsp salt (which can be decreased according to taste)
pepper to taste
1/2 tsp ginger

pour stock into large soup pot, add in carrots, squash, onions, and yams.  bring to a boil and let simmer until all vegetables are cooked through.  add in seasonings.  blend in a blender and serve.

it makes approximately 10-1cup servings.  enjoy!

calories: 126
fat: 2.4g
sodium: 357
carb: 20
fiber: 3
sugars: 4
protein: 6

A quote to live by

“You can have it all, you just can’t have it all at the same time.”

--Gail Vaz-Oxlade

shopping

i've just returned from shopping for the kids...over $300 later and i'm still not done.

so far i got the neice and nephew some long sleeved tshirts from the boarding house here and my other nephew a hoodie and a transformer.  i think he'd really prefer the lego star wars set but that will have to be another day's purchase since it's over $100...since when was lego THAT expensive?  maybe i'll give the transformer to my other nephew, as i did buy a dance barbie for the neice.

for the adopt a family kids, i bought the one family a dvd player and movies as they wanted.  they'll get some smaller toys to play with later.  the second family's kids i bought the three of them hoodies, the 15yr old girl a flat iron and i will eventually get her some makeup because honestly, what girl doesnt like makeup?  ok, i know there are some out there, but at that age, i think girls are into experimentation.  i noticed in my sephora catalogue that they have a $50 perfume sampler set and i'm quite tempted just to buy it for this girl.  hell, I'D be excited to open and try that...plus it also comes with a bonus kat von d tote bag that might be a nice addition to her gifts.  i'm still going to decide on that because i've already spent a bit.  i'll run it past ch.

the boys will be harder to buy for.  the oldest is 16, the middle one is 14 and the baby is 10.  the 10 yr old at least has said he wants lego and games.  done and done.  easy enough.  but the rest of them havent really specified what they want, so it will be kind of a crap shoot.  winners does have a lot of odd and interesting gifts, so i think we will end up going there to see if there are neat things for the boys.

little kids are easier to buy for, but i'm still struggling with my neice and nephew and what they should get.  they are 3 and 5 respectively, so it's really a matter of finding something they'd really want and dont have.  and at the present, they have a crapload of stuff in their house.  they currently want for nothing, so it makes it harder to find things they'd actually appreciate or desire when opened.  it's going to continue to be a big challenge, so we had better get a game plan for the next 15yrs!  i was sort of thinking that for bdays we should set aside $ for them in gic's or savings accounts and then when they're 18, they can use the money for whatever they want.  i'm also figuring that by the time they're 18, they'll not be in need of gifts and will be ok with that. 

i hope.

An open letter to Blessings Chirambo

dear blessings,

i just wanted to say hello.  you dont know me and the odds of us meeting are rare but i wanted to let you know that i am thinking about you.

i just adopted you moments ago.  the fact that your name was blessings spoke to me in ways i can not understand.  seeing that you love football and helping your family helped as well.

i have never been a parent, so i dont know what it is that 10 year old boys want or need, but i can just imagine.  i hope to help you out so that you can reach your dreams and goals and have a bright future, despite living in a community plagued with aids.

i dont know you but already i have warm thoughts about you and wish you well and cant wait to hear more about you.

in the meantime, take care of yourself.

xoxo

weak kneed...

i've decided to cut back my legs classes to once a week.  this week we had two legs classes, but judging from how my knees have been lately, there's no way i can tolerate 2 classes a week of this bullshit.

i overheard some of the ladies talking about thursday's class and how terrible it was.  thank god i skipped.  it was plyometrics, which is ordinarily very good, but i knew my knees wouldnt take it, seeing as we had lunge/push on monday.  heck, even today when we were in warmups and doing side to side lunges, my knees were giving me great difficulty.

i really dont know what it is with heartbreaker and why they insist on doing 2 legs classes a week.  injuries are prevalent there and i really dont want to be added to the casualty list, i really dont.  i enjoy relative good health, so as a result, i'm going to take it easy. 

maybe i'll pick up an extra cardio class in the meantime to get my fix, instead of working my knees to death.  i think i'll need them for the next 50 yrs.

Another aloe update...zzzzzzzzzz

so my aloe plant is still merrily growing.  this time the stalk has grown past the plant and has grown about 3-4 feet above it:

close up of the flowering stalk:

the lower "buds" are starting to fall off.  i'm not sure if they will open.  i also dont know what to do with the stalk once it's done blooming.  as well, i turned the plant and lo and behold, a new juvenile aloe plant is growing beside it!  repotting will likely come in the new year in spring and it will move to a bigger pot, probably its permanent home for a few years to come.

Maui, baby!

so in march we are going to maui.  it's for our annual convention with the store, so it should be good.

we've decided to spend a few days of the convention in maui hanging out.  we're staying at a westin and they've graciously made it all-inclusive for our group, so it will actually be a bonafide vacation.  in the past our company has sent us to 5+ star places where drinks are verging on $10/drink, and if you know our vacation habits, it doesnt come cheaply.  this vacation will be a nice shift from the usual functions.

from OGG we will take hawaiian airlines to HNL to spend 4 days there hanging out.  the last time we were on oahu, we had a great time renting a jeep and driving around seeing the sights.  quite frankly waikiki is overdone and boring and not as nice as other remote areas on the island.  and the island's interstate freeways are set up so nicely that you can have a great run-around without too much traffic and wonderful vistas in the process.

my favourite place was the north shore.  talk about awesome!  the waves were insane.  i'm hoping to caputre some better photographs this time around.  at the time we were there (feb 05), it was the tail end of the surfing competition so when we actually took pictures, the surfers looked like ants compared to the waves they were navigating.  even the lifeguards were on full watch...one family took their toddler to dip its toes in the surf and were yelled at and warned by the lifeguard to get back...the rogue waves and undertow are atrocious and it wouldnt take much to knock people down and out to sea.

we experienced a rogue wave at makapuu beach.  we went there with our rental jeep and sat on the sand and watched the waves come in and out...we were the only fools wondering why everyone else there was seated high above us...that is, until a wave came in and soaked us completely.  god damned tourists!  it was definitely a lesson in humility!

this time around we will be more prepared.  we will wear sunscreen on ALL parts of our bodies.  while touring about, i ended up with a burn that looked like a happy face on my left bicep and a burn down my hair part.  wont be doing that again!  this time around we will pack towels so that we can at least *walk* or *sit* on the beach at the north shore....

and this time around, i definitely will NOT be eating at mcdonalds.  bleh.

our adopt a families

i wont get into details here in a blog post, but we have 2 families.

one family has two kids under the age of 7 and the other one has four ranging in ages from 10 to 16.  i'm totally out of the loop as to what to get the teenagers.  normally people will specify what they would like for gifts or give ideas out, but the older kids havent...so we are basically stuck with the conundrum of wondering what might be cool or appreciated...

but at the same time, bring it on.

oh and i'm also thinking of sponsoring a child...tonight i'm investigating and checking it out.

adopt-a-family

this year, like last, we are adopting two families for xmas. 

i found out the idea through a friend here and thought it was damned good.  she got me in touch with the salvation army and i was able to connect and sponsor 2 families last year.

i have always wanted to take the focus of presents OFF xmas, and do something good for other people.  i'm not a people person, but helping out anonymously appeals to me greatly.  i had always wanted to serve xmas dinner at the food bank or soup kitchen, but the years i inquired, they were completely full of volunteers.

i always had it in my mind and last year i told ch that i wanted to do this, that a friend had the info and we should do it.  so instead of stressing out and buying gifts for the family, we just bought gifts and groceries for strangers.

let me tell you, it's a liberating thing to give to others.  it really is.  it's wonderful to take the time to give someone something you take for granted.  ch and i went shopping on two separate occasions to our walmart supercentre and bought 2 carts full of groceries and gifts for one family, and repeated the process a couple of days later for the second family.  and ch is NOT a shopper.  ordinarily, you couldnt drag him within 50 feet of a store without a protest, but when it came to our families, ch was enthusiastic and a real trooper in terms of picking out gifts.  and on xmas day, he woke up and said "by now, our families are opening presents".

to give is really the greatest gift of all.

so we just buy for the niece and nephews because christmas is about kids.  as for the adults, we are all old enough and financially well off enough to get what we want when we want it.  and honestly, i know i sound spoiled, but i really dont need another hastily thought out gift where i have to pretend i'm happy to receive it and simultaneously wondering where i'm going to hide it for the rest of the year.  and honestly, i'm not tight enough with anyone in ch's family to know what they want or need...they'll simply go and get it themselves.  even in terms of my parents, they have everything...what could i possibly buy them?

of course my family, specifically  my mother, does not believe in charity.  my mom thinks that all people on welfare are gross and dirty and are somehow cheating the system.  despite my claims to the contrary, she will not listen when i tell her it takes GUTS to ask for help.

i just ignore her stupid washed up beliefs and focus on the good.  yes, there will always be people who cheat the system, but there are people out there who had a hard time coming to terms with asking for help, too.

More xmas pictures

because you are my captive audience, i hold you captive to look at my pictures...

hey, it's better than vacation slideshows, right?

tree in the livingroom

view looking out our front window with our xmas tree reflected, champion oil well 400m in the distance

front of the house.  it's as high as i'm willing to go!

back deck, griswalled out!

if it wasnt for the math....

i'd be an astronomer.

geez...

Missed

Douchebags of the day...

the award goes to the toronto humane society for daring to even put the word HUMANE in their title...

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2009/11/27/toronto-humane-society653.html

fortunately, charges have been brought to numerous members in charge for their atrocious acts of cruelty toward animals in their shelter.

let's hope the court throws the book at them and doesnt give them a slap on the wrist as they've done in the past to assholes committing cruel acts to innocent animals.

bravo to the cbc.ca for listing names.

grey gardens, another update

so when the inlaws were here a couple of weeks ago, they started talking about all the places the mil saw when the realtor took her out.  she told me that there's a condo for sale a BLOCK from our house that she was excited about and how great/nice/special/wonderful/23 skidoo it was.

then she said, "oh and ch can JUST go over there and mow the grass and shovel the walks...tee hee". 

yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball.  reaaaaaaaaally funny.

i told ch later that night and he was outraged.  no shit!  finally!!! 

the one good thing coming from all of this is that i've been able to speak my mind without it resulting in a battle.  he actually listens to what i say about his crazy nutso aunt AND even, gasp, his sister.  this was virtually unheard of in the past, trust me.  he'd erupt and melt down and scream and yell and eventually leave the room if you so much as whispered your dissatisfaction with his sister and family.  over the last couple of months he's been more receptive to my criticisms and has actually AGREED with some of my assessments pertaining to his sister...especially in regards to her being stuck in perpetual baby of the family dependant on mommy and daddy mode, and them buying right into it.  progress!

the quest to move the aunt here is still on.  i told my therapist about it and he didnt say too much and then suddenly something twigged and he said "wait: your inlaws are buying her the condo and then telling her she has to move?"  uh huh.  it IS that fucked up, james.

i just love how the responsibility of taking care of the aunt is falling solely on ch's shoulders.  there's no mention of the sil...of course the normal world knows she cant handle shit, and it would be ridiculous to presume that she would solely take on the responsibilities of the aunt's care without having hissy fit after hissy fit.  the parents live squarely up her asshole and dont see her as useless the way the rest of the world does, but see her as "strong", "determined", and the one that always kills me and makes me laugh out loud literally everytime they say it: "independant".  riiiiiiiiiiight. 

they acknowledge her uselessness in a way that makes them feel needed, so they dont see it as wrong or fucked up that their 31 yr old daughter is codependant and not quite right.  what they call "help" is counterproductive and actually churning out an individual that is not responsible for her own actions, ever, and someone who can not possibly face the slightest crisis.  it's like the mere idea of a problem cripples her so much so that she can not think rationally.  case in point is when her humidifier sprayed water over her unfinished basement.  she called our house repeatedly at 7am and kept going till 9am.  in the meantime, the calls went between us and the inlaws.  and at the time it was very cold and terrible driving conditions, but the fil was willing to get in his car and drive the 3hrs to help her mop the floor...

so she called in sick for the day and then from 7am till god knows when she did nothing.  she finally got ahold of ch at 9am and he went over there at ten to drop off our wet vac.  1/2 hr later, she called me wanting an extension cord.  20/20 hindsight is particularly helpful and i should have made her come here since she took the day off, but no, i stupidly went over there with a mop and bucket as well in order to help.  i called her as i was leaving my garage and i'm 2 minutes away from her home.  this comes in handy because i had to stand on her doorstep trying to juggle everything as she took her sweet time to answer the door.  GEE, i'm standing there balancing things and you KNEW i was coming...could you not be waiting there to at least help me carry the bucket, the cord, and the fans i brought? 

so i went into her basement and she had done nothing, other than move a couch over to a drier spot.  and i'm pretty sure that ch did all the moving because at times of physical necessity, she will pull her "injured shoulder" trick and wont help.  so she had been up since 7 presumably crying over the water in her basement and doing nothing till i arrived at 11am.

i have since learned to shut my everloving mouth in terms of immediately volunteering assistance when she starts whining.  and to this day, i have never forgiven her for not cleaning up her basement.  was she telling me that the water was that overwhelming that she couldnt start till 11am???  she had been up since 7, so what in the fuck was she doing the whole time? 

i'm sure she spent a majority of the time crying because we got a few teary messages and i swear that was more emotion that she's EVER displayed in the 12 yrs i've known her.  even when her grandparents died, she didnt shed a single tear...but water in her basement?  bring on the kleenex!

my whole tangent is to illustrate that coddling adult children is never a good idea...this person now is our problem every time there is a slight crisis...have a spider on your outside window?  call your brother and then call your dad to come with his pressure washer to wash off your condo later...and in the meantime, everyone sits back and nods and speaks as if it's the most normal thing in the world...

am i the only one who is sane in this family??  i'm beginning to understand why it is that i'm in therapy and wondering aloud if more people should be there instead of me.

oh boy (more furnace f*ckery)

the fil called here yesterday afternoon.  he just got home from brazil...probably had been home less than 24hrs by that point.

he was really calling here to talk to ch, but i got the phone and ch was glued to the tv.  afterall, it was american thanksgiving, so that means hours upon hours of football where he completely zones out and the only thing he wants to discuss is stats.  endlessly.  he doesnt want phone calls about furnaces.

so the fil and i chatted for a while and then he just said to the mil "want to talk to tracy" and she muffled something and he came back on and said she was siiiiiiiiiick and not feeling well.  honestly, she's always sick.  like, ALWAYS.  and always out for sympathy.  every time she's sick it's a process and i swear there is so much overacting going on that might win either a razzie or an oscar, depending on who is judging.  i was trying to say NO to the fil as he was attempting to hand the phone off to his wife....dont i get a say in who i'm talking to?  oh wait, i've suddenly remembered what family it is i'm dealing with.  the answer is a resounding no.

so we chat and then hang up.  ch calls him back moments later when there is a longer break in the game and i can overhear him talking to his dad about the furnace f*ckery, but it is a conversation i can tell he isnt willing to have.  and it's obvious from what he's saying that he wasnt the one to tell his father.

obviously the sil told them.  so let me get this straight: they've been back in canada less than 24 hrs and already --ALREADY-- they know about our furnace?  really?  is it that exciting that she has to pick up the phone and tattle?  honestly?  it's a fucking furnace.  not only that, as usual she doesnt have the whole story, so then we have to put up with his endless questions.

oh i know, you're probably thinking "but tracy, your fil played the 20 question game with ch already...why wouldnt he just drop it?"  an untrained ear would assume the same thing, but i know the fil: he wont let this one rest.  as a matter of fact, he grilled ch for a solid 15 mins about it yesterday and ch's answers fell into this range:

--"i dont know, dad"
--"i'm not sure what was wrong, dad"
--"like i said already, i dont know, dad"
--and the final one which indicates that this game aint done being played: "you're going to have to ask tracy".

OH GEE THANKS for throwing me under the bus, you jackass.

great...so now i get treated to playing the fil's version of 20 questions.  and even if i quote DIRECTLY off the furnace bill, he will somehow imply that the entire breakdown from start to finish was handled incorrectly and that i should have called him (even tho he was in brazil) or should have handled it better than i did, even tho i did the GROWN UP THING and handled it myself without melting into a pool of 1000 tears the way the sil did when she had water on her basement floor.  just because i dont wither in a crisis doesnt mean i cant handle things.

but nevermind, i will be treated to the endless questions while ch throws me under the bus again and sits there silently waiting for me to answer the fil's onslaught of questions.  i overheard him saying that HE unplugged the humidifier...uhm, not quite, honey.  the furnace repair person did, but thanks for putting that out there. 

fun with families.

ugh.

xmas trees...

ok so i rarely get in the festive spirit.  getting in the festive spirit to me is getting INTO the (festive) spirits if you catch my drift.  glug-glug.  i can waste away a good xmas holiday by consuming and becoming merry. 

the other day when i was perusing walmart for LED lights, i stumbled on the xmas tree section and found cheap trees that looked nice.  i immediately was fixated on the white tree because my grandparents had one but it also looked really nice in the store.  it was pre-lit with who knows how many lights and was a 1, 2, 3 set up thing for $54 + tax.

got it home and assembled, tweaked the branches, plugged it in, and it's good to go.  in fact, i like it so much that i am not sure i'm even going to put ornaments on it or if i do, they'll be simple and understated.

i really suck at decorating xmas trees and i think that's why i havent really put one up fully in the last few years.  having a prelit tree does take away some of the stress and worry about placement.

i still have 2 other regular green trees in the basement that could be brought up.  initially i debated having a forest of trees in the livingroom, but let's be serious here: i'm not really that gung-ho for xmas and our house is not a mansion.  i could still opt to put another tree upstairs, but that seems like a lot of effort.

for now we'll just settle for the tree on the main floor and debate about ornaments....

snowy days

here it is, finally snowing in the hat.  i think it will look really nice later tonight when the xmas lights fire up and the snow provides the backdrop.  last week i decided i'd griswald the shit out of the house, so i bought LED lights for the front and did the front as high as i could go and the back with the old icicle lights.  it looks tackier than hell during the day, but at night it's pretty nice.  i'll provide pics later once the sun goes down and the lights come up.

i was hoping to get high on the garage and do the roof.  no such beans.  i'm too chicken to ascend the ladder and get onto the roof.  i think i'd attempt it if i had a spotter, but my spotter is too preoccupied with beer and tv to notice me falling from the sky, so i'll just either hire someone next year to get up and trick out the house, or hire a spotter.

Edited posting

ok, so i'm eating crow.  i had to delete part of my last post out of guilt.  i cant do it, for KC's sake. 

so names are removed, but parties reading it involved would know it's them.

open letter to a stupid ass

hey stupid ass,

you were dumb.  we all knew it before you got married.  you insisted it was true love, you wanted us to believe you, embrace you and your new bride, and believe that it was all truthful.

truth is that we never believed you for a second.  we knew you lied to your new bride's dad on his deathbed.  you promised to be faithful, to make her an honest woman, to love her forever, and we all knew all you spewed was lies.

so you married her in august of 2007.

we were there.  in fact, ch was one of your groomsmen as you stood there and promised to love her forever.  you fucking liar, you fucking kept saying your EX WIFE'S name throughout the fucking reception.  you didnt say it just once, you said it many times.  the dumb fat cunt even came to the reception at one point.  we all knew it was doomed from the get-go.

last year you and your bride tried having kids, but thankfully due to her severe diabetes, she couldnt carry to full term.  in fact, you were ssoooooooooooooooo proud of your fathering abilities that you bragged to everyone practically the day after you conceived and when i cornered you and asked you about how your bride was handling it, you waffled and had no answer.  any doctor worth their degree would never have advised you guys to go ahead with it.  like everything else you fucking well went ahead with it.  you fucking retard.

in july you decided to have a melt down at work.  of course it was just a coincidence that you then decided it was best for your kids from your first marriage to have you in the same city...nevermind that they'd been without you for at least five years.  no, now was the striking point, make your new bride move, quit her full time job, sell HER home that you were living in...reap the rewards of her dad dying...you betcha...just live that high life, buddy.  you deserved it.  you fucking asshole.

so you moved northward.  god only knows what or who you were doing when you were living north of the 49th.  knowing your past history that you've never learned from, you were fucking some insecure fat chick who you told that you were on the verge of ending your marriage.  oh come on now, we all know you fucking well did that and told this new sucker the same story you've told the last few insecure people.  you cant fool me; i've always thought you were one drunk incident from asking me back to your home...but the truth is that you know i'm much too secure for your bullshit...you tried but you'd never succeed with me.  i wasnt near as fat or as insecure as your past loves, you turd.

so you moved up there, pretending all was well to your bride as you persuaded her to sell the condo that she outright owned before you moved into her life the way herpes would crawl onto a hooker's crotch.  you told her to wait, that you'd find a place, that all would be right....

and then you did what you always do: you fucking told her that you didnt love her anymore.  nevermind that you both tried (and failed) to have a second child in august.  jesus christ, AC, you fucking impregnated her and then told her not to bother to come up there, that the marriage was over.  fuck you, YOU C_CK.

do you know that k is a quiet person, very shy and now living with her mother?  and i know, you are probably playing it off that you are friends, that you will divorce amicably...but you know what?  you are escaping with more than you entered the marriage.  you came in with FUCK ALL and are leaving with 1/2 that condo, that vehicle, and various other things.  and sadly, because your bride is a good person, she will probably just say "UNCLE" and let you get away with it.

well, trust me, you are dead to us....your friends who stuck up for you.  the people you insisted were your buddies till the end...remember them?  the same fucks you have NOTHING to do with now that you are living with someone else and carrying on your life of LIES and OUTRIGHT BULLSHIT in edmonton?  remember us?? you fucking asshole.

meanwhile your bride, the one you promised to her dying dad that you'd look after (remember her, you fucking c-nt?), is out of a house, looking for part time work, and calling herself a LOSER, all thanks to you....how does that feel, asshole?

i fucking hate you.  the worst thing is that i knew you'd do this.  that you'd lie.  and christallmighty, i hoped you would have the DIGNITY and INTEGRITY not to do as you'd done to those that came before your bride.  you asshole, you just treated her the way you've treated all the other fat pieces of insecure ass you got before this....

i hate your fucking ass.  and i swear to god, i  would slit your throat if i ever saw you again.

Roadie Music

i'm never going to hear this song without thinking of fergie and tubby while driving to yyc....

what kills me is how excited tubby got over seeing this song on my ipod...and fergie, too...we all rocked out to that song in the car while consuming a few coors.  and simultaneously killed ourselves laughing at the dude that probably got paid thousands just saying "everybody in the club" in the chorus....

stress and missing you. fuck.

my sister wants to come saturday and go shopping. 

before she comes i want to express to her that i wont be babysitting while she is in panama.  it's not going to be an easy conversation.  i dont even know how to say it without upsetting her and pissing her off and causing a big fight.

i have missed her quite a bit.  it kills me not to talk to her on the phone, it really does.

i wrote a toast to her on my wedding day, a toast that i still continue to stand by to this day...it is killing me that i'm angry with her and not talking to her...

To my sister: you are my best friend. Thank you for being the person I turn to in a crisis. You help me keep a level head. You were always there for me. You’ve talked me out of many situations and helped me keep a cool head and have been there to give me perspective and a dose of sanity when I was at my wit’s end. You have always shown me how to think outside the box, and reminded me that karma is a very strange and inevitable process. You were my friend and enemy growing up: the only kid to play with in a one horse town, but the same kid who stole my clothes, repeated everything I said word for word, the person who took out her anger on me in strange ways (like cutting me off when on our bikes…causing loads of pain and gravel in my knee : I still have the scar!), and speaking of scars, I still have the long one ~if you look just right in the light~ on my left arm from where you scratched me with your talons and it bled so much that I thought I’d pass out and die while locked in the bathroom while you tried to kick the door down to finish me off. I’m sure that mom and dad as well won’t forget our infamous trip from Keremeos to Vancouver in grandpa’s satellite sebring where my arms looked as if they had just done battle with all the pinching and scratch fights on probably the longest five hour trip our family has ever taken! you were the brunt of many of my jokes, including some prank calls to shelly jamison’s place while you were babysitting, the kid I called “nut” or “nerd”, and teased mercilessly in front of my friends and cousins, and yet you still stuck up for me. remarkably, my arms got through a year of living together during in university relatively unscathed, but I think that was the first year where we really connected and put aside our differences and stuck together…after all, we did have another adversary: a roommate who was messy. It was easy to stick together and I think we both agree that if we could make it through one year with this girl, we could do anything together! Not only are you my sister, you are my friend.
********************************************************************

it kills me that we are distant right now.  i so want to pick up the phone and talk to you as if nothing's wrong, but there is something wrong and i do believe it wont be simply fixed with a few words.  we're going to fight, no doubt about it, and i am not looking forward to the consequences behind it.

oh god, the cat

my cat has been really clingy.  like, almost unbearably so for about a year now.  not only that, she has shrunk in size.  i see age in her eyes, her hips and her gait.  i know the inevitable is coming sooner than i choose to realise.  and yet as i sit here typing, there she is...laying on the carpet just outside the office, a place she occupies every single day and time i'm in this space, and i wonder how much longer i'm going to be graced with her presence.

i met her on a snowy day in november of 1994.  dean and i went to the spca in yyc on a whim to see what was there and i immediately fell in love with her.  i took her out of her cage and  held her and just knew that she was the cat for me.  we drove home, wondering what her future would be if we didnt say "YES" immediately.  panic experienced, as we talked to our upstairs neighbours and okayed a third cat to the mix of the house.  more panic as we phoned the spca inquiring about her and wondering what her future would hold.  we were basically told that we were saving her from the brink of extinction.  most fortunately, we were okayed by the spca and the neighbours and brought her home for the weekend.  life was great.

on the monday, we were to take her in to get fixed.  before work, i held her and hugged her, grateful she was mine.  and curiously enough the cat gingerly bit me on the left shoulder.  i wondered what kind of cat i had adopted...would she bite me?  would she be unkind?  just what had i gotten into?  over the weeks, i read that cats will bite their owers kindly to form a bond.

and we did bond.

this cat has been with me for the last 15+ yrs, through boyfriends, ups, downs, tears, warm and cold nights, through moves and adjustments...all the while taking it in stride the best way a cat can do.  she never loved car rides, but she did adjust well to a new sister, to new dogs and to new homes.  she's always been my "puppy cat", someone who (unlike her predecessors) will come on command, who will play fetch with toys, and who will respond to a sneeze with a "rowr" that i think is her way of saying "bless you".

and now the twilight of her years is approaching.  i can see it in her face, her actions, and it kills me.  the clingy nature of her personality is hurting me the most.  i will let her up in the mornings while i'm at the gym and when i return home, she is there to greet me and yowling at me saying hello and that she has missed me.  when i get out of the bathroom after showering she is there on the carpet outside the door, eager to greet me with a swish of her tail and another yowl of hello.  i will go to bed and when i roll over, she is again there at the end of the bed on the floor just waiting for me to wake up and pet her.  i might be in bed for hours, but she waits there alone in the cold on the floor for me to simply look up and say hello, maybe pet her, and lead her downstairs.

and here i sit, midnight, and she is right here at my side.  everytime i look down, she chirps at me in her feline voice, just eager for a pet and back scratch.

what in the hell am i going to do when i have to make that terrible decision?  some nights it keeps me up with worry.  i think that i will cry endless tears, that the wound will never heal, that i will constantly be seeing her in the shadows at the corner of my room, i will hear her voice, constantly be telling her "you're fine" when she meows, i cant pet her enough now, trying hard to remember the feel of her fur, the sound of her voice, the way her claws click on the lino as she follows after me as a good old puppy cat.

god, what will i do when she is gone?  what?

What Makes a Man--City and Colour

F*ckery

so the fil is very concerned about our house and the contents therein.  he figures it's his business everytime we do anything in the house, from moving furniture around to hanging pictures, he figures he should be informed.  nevermind that this house has been bought and paid for by us, he still has a tough time letting go of the fact that his son is 32 and has a life beyond the four walls of the yyc palace.  of course the sil never lets them forget that she is still the baby of the family...so the day that ch was over there killing the big wolf spider that was OUTSIDE of her condo not hurting anyone (except a fly, lol), she was on the phone demanding that her father get down here and bring his pressure washer and wash off her condo.  she tells me these things with a straight face as if it's the most normal thing in the world to command her 60-something year old parents to do her bidding.  what's worse is that they comply willingly without protest...and they wonder why she's still single??  honestly.

so the fil decided that we needed a new humidifier.  this was way back when we first bought the place.  he installed it on a weekend and then on a sunday morning in the winter, not soon after the installation, i heard a drip-drip and went down to investigate...sure enough, there was an inch of water on the floor everywhere and it had dripped into the furnace, causing the pilot light to go out.  we spent a few hours cleaning and mopping the floor and finally got everything sorted out.

the next weekend the fil was here to reinforce the water lines.  every time he came to our house following the flood, he'd go downstairs and check the furnace.  see, the basement is the cats' domain.  their litterboxes and food and hair and barf and all cat-related atrocities are down there.  the fil does not like that so makes great pains to show how much of an effort it is for him to put on his shoes and descend gingerly down the stairs avoiding the hairballs and cat dishes.  he acts as if he's walking across a minefield in middle africa.  honestly, it's not that bad, but you'd swear he was in upper somalia by the way he navigates the stairs.

he takes it upon himself to maintain our humidifier and furnace.  in fact, about 2 weeks ago he was here to change the furnace filter and humidifier pad and then check on our digital thermostat to make sure it was still controlling the humidifier.  like i said earlier, he takes great pleasure in donning the shoes, heading to the basement and checking the humidifier to see if it works.

so then he comes up and tinkers and tonkers with my digital thermostat.  and then has the nerve to turn to me and criticise MY programs in there and basically suggest that there are too many, that i'm being ridiculous and should re-program my thermostat.  that's right, MY thermostat in MY house that fits OUR schedules.  but it somehow does not fit the family mold and therefore is mockable and something that needs to get in line.

my good friend once said that my fil is trying to take over the world one house at a time.  i dont think she is far off the mark with that one, i really dont.

of course when we got a digital thermostat, the sil had to get one, too.  we got a workbench, she had to get one...the list goes on.

anyway, when the fil was here, the mil came along.  she is allergic to the cats and makes great protests about the house everytime she crosses the threshold.  she doesnt just quietly sniffle into tissues; no, she carries on making that itchy nose face and moving her nose and mouth around as if to indicate she is far too polite to go and get a kleenex, that she is far too genteel to blow her nose, and is too far removed from all out wiping her nose, but is content to sit there and sniff and snivel and turn up her nose and make faces to indicate that i must be the  messiest person on the planet.  in fact, i'm sure that i should have my place condemned because of the cats.  she used to stay here and let me tell you, she would drive me batty.  her mere presence stresses me out because naturally the cats and dogs wont leave her alone when she crosses my threshold and that just exacerbates her allergies.  and as far as i'm concerned the mil is a very dramatic person so if she thinks she's getting you riled up, she will pour it on so you are more agitated.  i'm sure i play right into her kid gloves when she comes here.

she arrived a couple of weeks ago at nine pm after having a pedicure at 2pm...she was still wearing her freaking "sandals" she got from the salon and wouldnt take them off.  instead, she just walked onto my carpet after god knows where her feet had been and continued to sit on the couch like a regal throne occupant and sniffed and snivelled while i tried my best to corral the beasts away from her.  oh and she is notorious for never taking allergy medication, preferring to "borrow" my medicine each and every time she is in the house. 

at the end of the night, my fil suggested that they should stay here, as opposed to always staying with the sil.  well, there is NO way the sil would ever allow that, as her parents are her rocks.  and quite frankly, i dont want them here...her snivelling and expecting to be entertained and he running around butting into things and bugging me about things i've done without consulting him.

there are times where i wonder how ch turned out to be normal, the antithesis of his parents...and there are times where i completely understand why it is he has a drinking problem.

Furnace F*ckery

so the furnace person had to be called back a second time monday.

he had spent two hours working on it initially, which set me back $528 and change.  assured me it worked.

fine.

i went and turned up the thermostat.  nothing happened.  oh it said "heat" all right, but nothing was going on downstairs.  i paced, i worried.  i hate being "that" person who has to point at and critique flaws.  i hemmed, i hawwed, and finally i called the place back asking to speak to the tech who helped me.  five mins later he called back and said that he'd come right back to check it out.  i was sure it would be a simple flick of the switch and off he'd be with me red and embarassed.

not so.

turns out, the humidifier was leaking into the furnace, which caused a short in my thermostat.  $70 +gst later, it was all fixed.  the newer digital thermostat has had to be junked because it's fried and we are back to our traditional thermostat, warts and all, minus the humidifier.  after telling ch about all the drama and the cost, he said "i think we are done with humidifiers from now on" (because we had a huge leak in it the first weekend it was installed and woke up to an inch of H2O on the basement floor one lovely sunday morning, with no furnace, and OH it was in the winter). 

we'll see how the fil reacts to that news.  he wont like it.

Great things about the Hat.

1. monarch theatre http://www.themonarch.ca/index2.php  a newly restored theatre in the heart of downtown medicine hat.  comfortable seats (no bad seat in the house), "B" movies, and a 50's style color scheme.  where else can you go on a wednesday night and spend $5 getting in and $5 for popcorn and drinks?
2. swirls.  good icecream from a small vendor.
3. the roasterie.  freshly brewed coffee, roasted beans, and an atmosphere that hasnt sold out to the man.  down with starbucks!
4. tiger ice cream at tigers hockey games.
5. coulees at any time of the year
6. deer on your front lawn
7. the south saskatchewan from maple avenue bridge at dusk looking westward
8. rafting down the south sask with an itsy bitsy floating cooler
9. rossco's wings and the rooster himself
10. damned good friends.





11. the par 3.  where else can you drink many beer and have a great game of golf with friends for under $20?

12. 10 minute commute ANYWHERE.
13. prairie xmas trees across from your house....
14. going to BEACH parties year round
15. thuy thien, sabi, and sushi miso who represent good solid vietnamese, thai, and japanese meals for quality prices
16. roadies
17. http://heartbreakerdanceandfitness.com/ kickass classes, instructors, and a real method to getting fit.
18. finlay bridge 

19. prairie sunsets from your front door
20. argiropes in your garden and massive-assed wolf spiders in your garage

Vietnam and roller derby

nothing beats a night out with the chicks.  nothing.

tonight ch is at kinsmen and so ter, rhonda, and i hit dinner and a movie.  we saw "whip it" and christallmighty, i want to learn how to roller skate...more specifically, i want to fucking roller derby, baby.  i cant skate to save my soul, but i just love the *idea* of getting out there to take out my aggression on other people and simultaneously do something to create a sweat.

we're talking about doing a girls trip to yyc to go rollerskating at the rollerland.  but what i wanna do is go in costume and make it an 80's theme.  just a bunch of 30-somethings dressed in our best leg warmers and crimped hair and rip'n' and tearin' up the rink...

hell ya!

Miss You.

miss you.  miss you.  miss you.  miss you.

Douche of the Day!

Kate Moss: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".

hey kate: fuck you.  just because you put all your "food" up your fucking nose, does not make you an authority on what is considered ok or acceptable.  spokes"model" my ass.

i cant keep up with this shit

so we are supposed to go to a friend's place for new years.  he has a massive house on the outskirts of the city with a full bar and pool.  it's always a good time because our rooster always throws a great party and is a host extraordinaire.

this time around tho, the party has a limited guest list.  initially it was to be a select few, and since this past weekend, the guest list has dwindled even further.

it's always accompanied with "dont tell them that we are doing this for new years"...jesus christ, i cant keep up with the revolving dramas, and quite frankly, i left this stupid group for them always saying "dont tell xyz that we are going to ____".  is it junior high all over again?

what is wrong with people that have to draw attention to the fact that they dont want to be around certain people?  and what i dont understand is that they're all my age or older and saying this shit.  i cant fucking stand it.  what i dont get about it is that some of these women saying this are BEST FRIENDS with the people they're trying to exclude from the festivites...i am certain that things are being said behind my back a lot of the time...but if i respected these folks, i'd give a damn.  say what you want, i could care less.

in the meantime tho, why not go with grace, as opposed to drawing light to the uglier side of friendships? 

FFS, continued

so once the furnace person left yesterday the furnace refused to work.

turns out the humidifier was dripping into the furnace and causing it to short out the thermostat.  so another hour long visit and $70+ tax later, the furnace is working.

so for now, the humidifier is not hooked up and the digital thermostat is completely burnt out.

the fil is going to shit because the humidifier was his baby.  he installed it and then every visit since the installation, he has been either inquiring after the humidifier or going downstairs to check on it. 

since it's installation, it has flooded our basement once and this time around has shorted the thermostat.  ch has declared that we will not use it and will leave it be.  let's just see how the fil takes that.  he wont.  he will insist we need one for our climate and insist on going in to fix it.  in the meantime his interference is beginning to cost us a lot of money. 

and do you think it will be ch telling his father that we dont want a humidifier??  think again.  that one will be all on me.

just cant wait.

An Open Letter to my Fitness Instructor

dear fifi,

in two words: YOU SUCK.

i'm sorry, i have tried to like your classes and the cutesy way you say "fourrr-uh" like a drill sargeant every time you count down, but ultimately, i am finding your classes to be a complete pain in the ass.

let me just start by saying that you lack total credibility when you dont do things with us.  i'm talking about going past the demonstrations to actually following through with the ENTIRE exercise set you are pushing us to do.  instead, you demo it and then stand back and start yelling at us to get going...and then sometime in all that nonsense and yelling, you will do a rapid ten second sprint to show us how it "should" be done and the pace we "should" be at, but then you will go back to either surveying the room or reading nutrition journals.

i hate that.

you lose any and all credibility that you had when you first walked into the room.  i respect you because you earned the position you have, but quite frankly, my respect dwindles when you fail to perform everything you insist we must do with such vigour.  i just cant respect you for that and that's why i mutter "fuck you" every time you tell us to do more burpees after we've just done a two minute cardio sprint because you didnt think it looked "energized" enough.  fuck you, fifi.

and really, what is it with you not doing things alongside us?  it makes me think that you are incapeable of keeping up and find that it's easier to scream and yell than to try it and look like a failure because there are people in your classes who can do the sets and can keep up.  is that the case?  is it your ego or insecurity?  just say so.  i will stop rolling my eyes if you admit that you are inadequate.  in fact, i've seen your pushups (when you actually get down and do them with us) and let me just tell you that the fitness gurus there would eat you alive for the shitassed form you have.

what i find the most issue in that is that you have no compassion or understanding that our bodies might not be able to do 40 squats in a row, or that perhaps we are tired after doing 2 minute cardio sprints, followed by a burpee/push pyramid, that ends with another 2 minute drill.  can you not see that we were going hard out to begin with during the 2 mins?  and what is with you doing a full up and down burpee/push pyramid?  any other instructor will have us go from 1-8, break to another set of exercises and then finish off the pyramid with 8-1.  because today??? it was fucking ridiculous: 1-8 and back down again burpee/push pyramid, followed by 100 mountain climbers, followed by yet another 1-8 and back down again b/p pyramid was beyond ridiculous.  i have had better instructors than you who wouldnt have ever done it like that.  trust me.  and what was worse was YOU SAT ON YOUR ASS AND DIDNT DO A DAMNED THING OTHER THAN YELL.  again, fuck you, fifi.

and what is up with your legs classes?  i can not do 40 fucking squats in a row.  i just cant.  making us do 20, then 8 double downs, followed by another 12 and then dropping from 10lbs to 8 and repeating the entire process is a fucking recipe for a knee injury!!  both of my knees have been suffering immensely since you started instructing this class...and it's only getting worse, with a horrendous knee cramp sunday morning that had me bolting upright in bed.  i know it's coming from your class.  and hey, that squat thing was just the tip of the iceberg in your class...that was a mere 10 out of 50 minutes of shit assed sets you threw at us.

and i get that you are trying to improve our fitness.  hey, i can appreciate that...but at what cost?  injury?  do you want to see a knee give out?  will that give you some twisted sense of satisfaction?

i know you think you have a lot to prove because this is your first bikini bootcamp, but come on.  if you dialled it down even a notch, i swear we'd give you good reviews.  as it stands now, i cant bear to attend your classes because you refuse to dial it down.  can you not understand that by standing there doing nothing, you are not connected to our class in any way?  your indifference and cavalier attitude is really disgusting.  i can not respect you and hence it's why i'm going to continue to tell you to go fuck yourself every time you push shit on us that is irrational. 

look around you: the majority of the class are beginners!  do not push them the way you'd push experts.  why are you so hell bent to make fitness completely unenjoyable?  the mission here, fifi, is to make it fun and make people WANT to return to classes and excited about fitness.  all you're doing is turning people off...and you are even turning off veterans of the studio's classes.  not cool, fifi, not cool.

i'm still going to come to your classes.  god knows why.  maybe it's because i refuse to quit.  i'm stubborn that way.  i know i could add into another class at another time and never hear your voice again, but i dont want to give you the satisfaction of chasing me away.

so for now, you're going to have to endure ME.  i will continue to give it my all  and then some, but trust me, when it comes time to review you, i'm not sugar coating shit.

Say this three times fast:

Bob Loblaw.

FFS!!!

528.66 later and my furnace is still not fixed.  as it is, i'm already squelching at the idea of 1/2 a grand to fix the mother.  the pilot light went out sometime yesterday and we froze our nads off last night.  i have had someone in to fix it, he fixed it, and yet the damned thing wouldnt work.  he's back here again tooling around with it, but our retrofitted humidifier has taken it upon itself to start leaking.  again.  in the furnace.  jesus christ.

i know i sound like one of those customers we get who claim we screwed up their car because we touched it last, but honestly, the fil was here less than 2 weeks ago farting around with our furnace and humidifier.  now 2 weeks later, both are not working.

coincidence?

who knows.  my experienced mind says this is all a coincidence.

thankfully ch and i have the mindset not to panic and call everyone in the phone book, a la the sil.  if this was her place, we'd have been the first she'd have called...and uh huh, what the DEUCE can we do for you???  we should have reversed roles and called her in tears last night, but she'd fail to see the irony.

i'm hoping the furnace gets fixed soon and within the hour....who knows tho...jesus.

Of War and Remembrance

november is a tough month for me emotionally.  it's a month where i lost my grandpa and added to the mix is remembrance day and i often think of his war stories and tales he'd tell to my then too young ears which were unwilling to listen.  i regret that deeply.

today i was listening to war stories on cbc.  some of them are so fascinating and altho this is a sad time of the year, i particularly enjoy them.

today's story was a love story of two people who united over a kiss in france.  the allies were sweeping through the countryside and dorothy vowed she would kiss the first soldier who drove in her town.  sandy was the first soldier to drive through and when he got out of his vehicle, dorothy immediately embraced him and kissed him.  a year later, they were married.

according to the story, sandy brought dorothy to canada where they settled in regina.  in their later years, they moved to victoria. on his deathbed, sandy proclaimed to dorothy that he would see her in catour (spelling?), their original place of meeting where the first kiss took place.  those were his last words.

when dorothy later died, she was reunited in catour with her long love sandy and they lay buried under the cenotaph in the town where it all took place.

very romantic.

Grey Gardens version 3.0 (long)

ever watch grey gardens the movie?  there's a documentary from 1975 and a newer version starring drew barrymore and jessica lange.  it's about relatives of jackie o who were packrats holed up in their grey gardens mansion.  i recommend it because it's a fascinating study of human beings in deep denial.

ch has an aunt who falls into this category.  she lives in the old farmhouse she has grown up in.  she's approximately 55 and has married twice...the first one was never herrrrrrrrrrrr fault, yet i'm pretty sure she said yes in a booze induced fuzz and married a beater who broke her fingers.  the divorce or annulment was done quickly and quietly and she retreated back to her mother's busom.  a few years later, she married another boozer and was married about 10 yrs or so.  maybe less.  it's irrelevant.  they never had kids and moved into the farmhouse.  history's unclear at this point whether they were living with her parents or not, but i do know that the parents moved to the city in 1980.  i suspect that the newlyweds didnt have a pot to piss in, but they sure found pots to drink out of if you catch my drift.

a nasty divorce later, she was alone on that farm and slowly took it over.  in the years following her divorce, the farm fell to rack and ruin around her.  she had been injured in a car crash that left her on piddly amounts of disability and lord only knows how she made a living or continues to make one.  in the meantime, she had accumulated loads of things in the house.  every grainery and quancet is filled with old items to the roof.  items that are meant to be given to someone, but have never quite got there. 

worse yet is that nobody's allowed in the farmhouse.  people used to go out there to have elaborate dinners and finish the harvest, but slowly this aunt's mental illness took over and she chased people out.  if the men go there to help her, she wont let them in the house to go to the bathroom or wash their hands.  no, i'm not kidding.  this kind of behaviour has been going on for years and people have silently followed her wishes.  she is also, not surprisingly, a very nasty person.  she likes only certain people in the family.  yours truly doesnt fall into that category, even tho the only thing i've done to her in the years i've known her is not answered when she's called.  big whoop.  i made the mistake of answering once and asking her if she wanted to speak to ch, and she snapped at me, "how do you know i wasnt calling to talk to you".  uhm, okaaaaaaay.  i'm pretty sure that if ch had answered, you wouldnt have asked for me.  i wish that i had the balls to say that back then.  of course i didnt say anything.  dammit, i hate myself for being such a pansy at times.

so they want to move this aunt to my city, which is about an hour from the farm.  if you know packrats, they dont like change and they most certainly dont want people touching their "things".  this aunt has been bucking the possibilty of moving for years now, always throwing out excuses.  the inlaws, in all their buttinsky wisdom, have just decided that they're going to buy a condo and TELL her she's moving.  no asking, no pleading, no informing the authorities, just telling her she's going.  uhm, if you see a huge mushroom shaped cloud on the eastern horizon, that will be the aunt.

so then this morning i started talking to ch about the aunt and he is in deep deep denial over what will happen. i started telling him that the sole responsibility of looking after her will fall on his and his shoulders alone and that's not fair of his parents to just put that on him. he then kinda jokingly countered that the sil will do it and i said HELL NO (wanting to add that she cant even mop up f-ing water in her basement or kill a spider on her own without calling in ch to do it). then i asked him who they think will be expected to run over there every time there is a problem, so then he says to me that he thinks that auntie crazy will slow down once she moves here, that she will stop trying to be overtaxed with things at the farm the way she is with maintaining the sistern and garden etc...i said that i doubt she even does 1/2 of that the way she claims. then he started telling me that she will slow down and relax and maybe hopefully do crafts. i told him that you can not unbreed 50+ yrs of dysfunctional behaviour and neurotic tendancies, that it will only be a matter of time before she's flooding the tub or starting fires so she "oooooops, has to move back to the farm". 

i then asked him how they expect to take her out of the house willingly, because unless they can prove without a doubt that the house is either A)unliveable and should be condemned or B) unsafe, then they have no case. and if those arent true, they then have to prove that she is incapeable of looking after and is a danger to herself and needs someone to be the power of attourney. it all fell on deaf ears; he didnt want to hear it, but goddammit, it's true. they can not legally go in there and tell her she has to move unless they can prove she is crazier than shit, capeable of harming herself, or the house is unsuitable for human life. and quite honestly, they wont go and prove the last one because i have a feeling they'll want to restore it and use it because nobody's been allowed in the god damned thing.  who knows how damaged the upstairs is or even if it can be repaired.


it's all a sticky mess. i had thought of saying something to the mil and fil tonight and asking them to reconsider their decision for ch's sake, not for the aunt. for once to think of ch and his health and sanity. christ, buy her a condo in calgary then...but NO, they wont do thaaaaaat. just lump it all on ch and expect him to do it all. why not? nevermind there are 5 siblings in that family, 4 of which live in canada to help her. but no, throw her on ch. it's almost as if they are punishing us because we dont have kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids or something. implying that we have nobody else to worry about, so they can just lump auntie pack rat onto us and call it ok because we arent tied down to any other life forms.

i think the inlaws just figure that everything will be ticketty boo if she moves here and they can carry on.  unfortunately our city is close enough to the crazy farm that it would be easy for this aunt to flood her condo and ruin it and have to move home.

i just predict months of agony with this.  months of endless phonecalls from the inlaws to go check on the aunt because she's slammed her hand in a door/lit the place on fire/flooded toilets, and nights of us being there in the wee hours of the morning mopping floors all while she sits there and either sobs her head off or snarks and bites out orders.

i'm telling ya, that woman doesnt exist in my world.  i cant stand her, nor can i stand the way she treats the entire family.  even just the whole "you cant use my bathroom" bullshit is fucking insane and irrational.  if someone comes out there to help, you're damned right they're going to GET to use that bathroom.  we do her favours and yet she acts as if we are taking things from her when we enter her house.  i refuse to go to the farm anymore if she is there and i've made that clear to the fil, even if it is his sister.  it's true and he knows it. 

and forget about the sil helping ch if and when crisies happen.  both her and aunt crazy are protective and jealous of ch's time and will fight back and forth for it.  the aunt doesnt like the sil.  i think they are carbon images of each other, just a couple of decades separate them.  the sil is one serious car crash away from being the aunt. 

what i cant stand is how the family wont punish people or make them accountable for treating others badly.  they turn a blind eye to all of it.  the aunt has consistently treated the mil poorly, yet the fil just disregards it and goes out there to do work.  i just cant stand how the aunt and now the sil are not accountable for how they treat everyone.  it's deemed ok for them to behave the way they do.  it's beyond ridiculous.

oh and even creepier is that ch's great aunt (the crazy aunt's aunt) also was a spinster packrat who lived in her parents' home in saskatchewan and had it piled to the rafters with junk.  people talk quietly about this, but nobody dares to draw the parallels.  to me, it's glaringly obvious that we have another crazy nutjob on our hands.

and like the edies said in grey gardens, the only way they'll drag the crazy aunt off the farm is feet first.

trust.

Dinner with the Munsters

so dinner, remarkably, went well.  i got a few hot seat questions, but i was kind of in a cavalier mood, so i could take them on without too much duress.

there was a proclimation by the sil that she goes to the same hairdresser that her brother goes to.  oh good for you.  she's tried for quite a while now to get the number of my stylist, but i wont budge.  i know how she is and i wont subject her to my friend.  not only that, i refuse to listen to the complaints that would somehow manifest themselves as allllllllll myyyyyyyyyyyy faulttttttttttt should something not go according to her rules that change by the minute.  i dont need to hear it.  in the past, anything i've endorsed or liked has been countered with her declaring how much she haaaaaaaaaaaaaates it, so i really do all i can to avoid hearing that predictable bullshit.

what really galled me was that my honey bunches, my soul mate, the love and light of my life decided to take the bows for the renos.  now that really pissed me off...not only did he do nothing, he sat on the couch while my sister and i did things together and didnt budge a damned inch until we were struggling with the desk down the stairs.  while we were upstairs cunting, grunting, and munting trying to figure out how to disassemble that nightmare, he was sitting comfortably under a blanket drinking one beer of 12 that day and watching the NFL.  if anything, he'd turn the tv louder when we'd get too loud with our laughter or cussing.  help, my ass.

my fil asked him how he possibly got the desk unassembled and in the garbage and he started to answer as if he himself had done everything...i had to interrupt, it was too much for me.  i talked over him, something i rarely do in his parents' presence, and set the record straight.  he's the last person who can take my thunder, dammit.  even at one point he said "oh we just pulled up the carpet and underlay and then tracy painted in there", implying that my painting job was the only piddly contribution.  FFS!!!  he did jack shit...from the disassembly of the baseboards and carpet and underlay, to the dismantling of the huge hulking monstrosity that was the desk.  hell, he wasnt even around when i freaking well humped ALL the furniture out into the spare room while the renos were taking place or moved it back in here.  he didnt even so much as lift a finger to get the awkward poker table up here and back down into the garage that i was using for a desk!  but there he sat as if he himself did all the renos...

i think his parents really think he's a prince and some kind of chivalrous hero.  oh they dont even know the half of it.

Born again, born again, born again

dealing with the "born again"s.  you know them, the ones that suddenly have had the light of god touch them in some manner and now are seeing things through new eyes?  they're everywhere, apparently.

when i went to church 4yrs ago, i was never touched by the holy spirit.  i think the blessing water often boiled as i put my fingers in it to cross myself.  in all that time i attended mass, i never felt anything, other than sadness which would have me crying for part of the mass and trying furtively to hide my tears.  i dont think that was the spirit of god.  i think it was fucking guilt, my eternal shadow.

my recently reacquainted friend has been touched by the spirit.  i have no idea how to talk to her through phrases such as "i am trying to learn as much as i can so when questions come up i will have the proper answers, so many people are turned off of religion and that is from hearing information from someone who maybe wasn't a true Christian, and then people make their opinions from what they heard instead of researching it themselves."  how the fuck do you reply to things like that?

and how on earth could i possibly have anything to talk about with this person anymore if it's all bornagainbornagainbornagain bullshit?

religious people have always made me nervous.  maybe i've mentioned that before.  i'm always afraid i'm going to offend them by being ME.  you know, letting out the odd FUCK or DAMN while talking to them.  there are some who are believers who say those swears so i feel ok, but there are a lot of them who dont and who make me very uncomfortable as a result.  i also believe that the more religious someone is, the less open minded they are.  i've never seen it the opposite way.

my reaction?  arms length, baby....

Hiding in Plain Sight

i returned the bottles today.  $57 and change later, i emerged.

in total it was 5 full black garbage bags.

i am so embarassed every time i go because it's always packed to the rim with coors light in every bag, with the occasional wine bottle thrown in for good measure.

the coors is all ch's.  yes, i have contributed to *some* of the recycling, but as of late, i have not. 

i wonder if they know who the boozers are when bottles are turned in.  it's almost to the point where i think i'm going to have to switch bottle depots because turning in $57 worth of bottles every two months says something...and you know it's a fucking small town...christ.

Breaking news!

nicole kidman is struggling for relevancy and attention!

BIG SHOCKER.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/accesshollywood/091103/entertainment/nicole_kidman_talks__fetish_stuff____burning_the_diaries_she_kept_during_her_marriage_to_tom_cruise

excuse me while i fall asleep in my herbal tea......

Fireflies

Another exciting Aloe update!

ok that was a bit of sarcasm.

here's what the aloe's doing...

it's grown probably six inches in the last couple of weeks.  i think it might flower, but i'm not certain at which height.  very interesting, nonetheless.

i think this indicates it's happy...no?

Fark

going for dinner with the inlaws tonight.

gonna hear endless bragging about the semi non famous family member and the tveeeeeee shot that was 1 second of air time, but will come out like it was a full on hour documentary on the awesomeness of their bloodline.  gee, cant wait.

also get to hear about how drunk with power the sil is in her imporTantT new position and how my other nephew is going to be the next wayne gretzky.  at age five.  uh huh.  the kid cant even pronounce his R's correctly but he's going to outskate the great one.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

too bad i have a six am class tomorrow...tonight would be a good night to have several glasses of wine in quick succession.

Cute!

An Open Letter to My In-Laws

mil and fil:

just because we have a phone number you are familiar with, does not give you the right to call us four times in a night.

there's no need for it.  i dont care what is going on, leave a bloody message ONCE.  we will get back to you eventually.

for your information, we were watching movies last night and having a nice night together.  ever hear of one of those?  we didnt need you to interfere with us spending quality time together with your repetitive phone calls and gossip sessions.  for once we were sitting there holding hands and bonding.  not that it's any of your business, but we dont do that often, ok?  usually the football game is on and i'm invisible next to your son on the couch.  last night was the first night in a long time where we were able to sit there and enjoy each other's company and talk and laugh and watch movies.

...until you had to phone.  you phoned once at 6:45pm and ch saw it was your number, but he was TALKING TO ME and screened it and let it go to voicemail.  YOUR SON, NOT ME.  please take note of that before you start lecturing me later.

there was no need for you to call back three times within two minutes starting at 9:13pm.  absolutely none.

i really think you guys dont get that your children have grown into adults.  oh i know, your daughter will forever be stuck in her comfortable role of princess and baby and #1 in the family, which really wrongfully asserts to you that you are still mommy and daddy.  i just wish that you'd accept that your middle son is 32 yrs old and is an adult capeable of making his own decisions about things and that he and his wife are their own family and are now the primary family unit.  yes, we will always continue to respect you as the family of origin, be we are are own family now.  do you understand me?  WE ARE OUR OWN FAMILY.  we dont need you to call us oodles of times to chat about nothing and altho it's appreciated, we really wish that you'd call us once in an evening.

we also dont appreciate you calling here and then just showing up at our door either.  i just wish for once that you'd recognize that we are adults and this is our home and we will conduct ourselves accordingly within our four walls.  houses have doors for a reason...not just security, but PRIVACY.  please respect ours.  i have no idea why my husband gave you a key, but that does not automatically entitle you to full access to our lives, no matter how exciting they may seem from the outside.

and really, you want to take us for dinner wednesday.  now nice.  but couldnt you just call ONCE and tell us that, rather than be pests and call all night long?  nobody died and it is not an emergency.  we get that you are leaving for brazil next week, but it is not do or die and nobody will perish if we dont get all the details hammered out at 9:15pm on a sunday night.  i'm fairly certain that we can talk to you monday and get it worked out without any fatalities.

so please, respect us and our privacy.  and try to wrap your heads around the fact that your son is old enough to choose not to listen to you.  just because your daughter calls you nightly and your son doesnt, doesnt mean he loves you no longer.  i think he'd love you more if you backed off slightly.

informatively yours,
your dil.

football

we are still trying to figure out the colts vs. pats game for the 15th...

i'm actually getting excited for it.  football is FUN to watch in person, it really is.  it isnt just the game, but the crowd getting into it, the tailgating, the beer they serve in huge cups, the players, and the atmosphere inside the stadium.  it's addicting!  if we lived closer to a major city, i'm certain we'd have season tickets because there are 8 NFL home games per season...

i'm keeping my fingers crossed that things pan out!  the dilemma will be who we're cheering for!

Bison burgers

we had bison yesterday.  decided to make burgers and do them on the bbq.

i have to say that they were tasty.  a little fried onion, a little seasoning, and a bun and that was it.  delicious! 

the bonus is that it satisfies the desire for red meat while having only 120 calories and 4g of fat for 1/2cup.  beef, on the other hand (even extra lean), is 10g of fat per serving and higher in calories.

bison it is!