Viral videos

Open letter to my neighbours....

dear neighbours,

it's been a while since i've seen you around.  i just heard your squeaky truck pull up and that's the first time i've seen you in months.

i swear you are crazy. 

nice, but madly insane.

you are fortunate that i keep my crazy in check because you make it painfully obvious when your husband is not home.  shutting drapes and generally putting your house in lock down mode is basically leaving a huge obvious sign to burglars saying that the man of the house is not home and it's just you and your 7 yr old.  i'm just sayin'.

also?  why dont you put your garbage out in the alley like the rest of us normal folks?  we just got nice brand new sparkling garbages (which i love, by the way, in case you're asking) and yet you leave yours in the garage and wont haul it to the back alley?  why?  when you built your fence, you even put in a city approved garbage enclosure but didnt use it.  why not?  instead, i see you pack the back of your squeaky truck with garbage bags and squirrel them away to destinations unknown.  just so you know, the dog that used to rip up the garbages has long since left the neighbourhood.  and even now that we have these new-fangled garbage contraptions, the animals still wont break in...altho i'm sure that crafty racoons would figure it out somehow.

and why is it that you insist on going outside every time i'm out there?  why?  just because i'm sitting on my deck enjoying the peace and quiet does not mean i'm up for a visit you know.  i like being alone and i most certainly dont go out there hoping you'll come out and chatter away about the goings on in the neighbourhood.  yes, i like you, but i also like you more when i'm trying to enjoy being alone and you're not around.  and oh, while we are on the subject, if i'm on the phone, it kinda means that i'm not up to having a conversation with you over the fence.  again, i'm just sayin.

and all those half assed dinner invites?  i knew you were never serious when you uttered them.  i knew they were meaningless utterances.  why bother saying anything if you dont mean it?  for the record, i was never busy, even when i told you the opposite.  but that's ok.  i can cook for myself, thank god.

what i really didnt get was how eager you all were to help us with our fence, yet spurned any interaction outside of fence talk.  i invited you for tea once and before i could even get the question out, you interrupted with a big NO and no further explanation. 

but honestly?  thank you.  thank you for all the help and gardening advice.  your ideas and suggestions and information really did help.  and despite the fact that i dont have kids, i do appreciate the effort you go to when decorating your yard for hallowe'en.  it does look cool.  but i still wont hand out candy to your kid and i'll ignore the doorbell this year just as i have done for the last 3 years.  yes, scrooge comes early too.

but thank you for being quiet, polite and saying hello on occasion.  thank you for not having a party and throwing your empties on my lawn.  thank you for showing pride in your residence and shovelling your driveway in the winter and mowing your lawn in the summer...altho i'll still never understand why you do it immediately after i've done it.

i appreciate you guys.  even if you are a little crazy every now and then.

signed,
your neighbour.

Carpet's up!

well, i finally bit the bullet and took up the carpet in the office!

it was easier than i thought!

this space annoys and worries me simultaneously.  the fishtank sat there and leaked on that spot, which was the catalyst for this entire renovation.  upon pulling up the carpet, i noticed that the sub floor is darker where the fishtank sat.  and worse?  it still smells musty in here.  i had figured that once i ditched the carpet and underlay that the office smell would improve.  it hasnt.  now i worry and wonder if i have to rip up this portion of subfloor which is approx 39 inches wide and 230 long and put a new piece in...fuck me.  maybe i can just take out this piece, cut off the offending part and replace it, instead of replacing the entire piece?  i wonder if that would work?  it most certainly would take the smell of mildew away.  at least i hope.  fuck renos.  sometimes doing something unearths a plethora of problems that i'm really not really ready to deal with.  the only bonus is that i feel quite empowered by this project and if i can complete it without asking for assistance, then it will feel like a major sense of accomplishment.

i put down three boards and a small piece of baseboard over top just to see what the final project would look like.  i was having great pains of angst over the color choice of the laminate because it's not quite right.  instead of being separate boards (which in my estimation would be easier to lay and less of a headache in terms of cutting), the panels are approx 8 inches wide and 54 inches long.  i think it would be much easier to lay individual boards than trying to fix these long pieces together.  and in terms of cutting?  well, let's just say that individual boards present less of a headache than, say, cutting incorrectly into a larger board. 

here's what i'm going for in the future:

i have realised that i will need to do some "patchwork" painting...meaning that i'll have to extend the paint line just about 1/2 an inch further down the wall.  no problem.  that i can do.

simultaneously, this is what the flooring will look like against the cream colored walls:

please pardon the photo quality.  i will provide a finished product picture once it's all said and done that (hopefully) does it some proper justice.

what's next?  well, touchups of the paint fuckups.  then likely painting the closet because i realised that it's looking a little drab in the midst of all this fresh paint.  (aside, i think the paint i've chosen is NOT water friendly in terms of washing it...FFS.)  oh, so then i have to go and purchase the foam underlay stuff, tape it down, and THEN i can begin measuring twice and cutting once and hopefully it will be a seamless project.

please, please, please: no measuring once and cutting twice.  fingers crossed.

Dur-gingur-gingur

this video cracks me up...i can totally relate.  it's what i fear when doing renos.

Casimir Pulaski Day---Sufjan Stevens

Golden rod and the 4-H stone

The things I brought you

When I found out you had cancer of the bone

Your father cried on the telephone

And he drove his car to the Navy yard

Just to prove that he was sorry

In the morning through the window shade

When the light pressed up against your shoulder blade

I could see what you were reading

Oh the glory that the lord has made

And the complications you could do without

When I kissed you on the mouth

Tuesday night at the bible study

We lift our hands and pray over your body

But nothing ever happens

I remember at Michael's house

In the living room when you kissed my neck

And I almost touched your blouse

In the morning at the top of the stairs

When your father found out what we did that night

And you told me you were scared

Oh the glory when you ran outside

With your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied

And you told me not to follow you

Sunday night when I cleaned the house

I find the card where you wrote it out

With the pictures of your mother

On the floor at the great divide

With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

I am crying in the bathroom

In the morning when you finally go

And the nurse runs in with her head hung low

And the cardinal hits the window

In the morning in the winter shade

On the first of March on the holiday

I thought I saw you breathing

Oh the glory that the lord has made

And the complications when I see his face

In the morning in the window

Oh the glory when he took our place

But he took my shoulders and he shook my face

And he takes and he takes and he takes

parents...who gets them?

i have a very complicated relationship with my parents.  VERY.

growing up i was always micro managed and controlled.

couldnt wait to get out of the house, couldnt wait to leave, to get away from their control.

as an adult i've always kept them at arms length and controlled just how much interaction i have with them. 

and it seems the more distance i have, the more clearly i can see.

the lies, the manipulations...i wonder how much of my childhood i spent in the fog of lies and spoonfed untruths.

that concept disturbs me greatly, shatters every foundation of beliefs i made.

i feel quite betrayed by their lies, and as a result, despise liars in my own life.  i can comprehend small white lies like "oh yes, that color suits you", but i can not understand great big fat whopping lies that are so baseless and pointless, that only serve to hurt in the end.

my mom still tells great big whoppers and so much so, that i dont believe 90% of what comes out of her mouth.  what's worse is her retelling of stories, especially if you were there in person to witness the event...what comes out of her mouth in the retelling of it is grotesque and unrecognizable and i feel a big sense of embarassment when she does shit like that because *I* can see how distorted things are.

i'm not sure what offends me more or makes me more angry: the fact that people lie or that they expect me to believe the lies they tell.  do they really think i'm that stupid, that i believe even the most offensive falsehoods?

i think knowing what i know about my parents and the liars that seem to surround me, i strive with all my heart to be truthful about everything because lying simply does not pay.  it's more energy to keep up a false veneer, instead of simply living the truth.

in the end, the truth is so liberating, so freeing...i just dont understand how liars cant see that...

VYR and beyond

last weekend i went to vancouver.  it was a blast, but it was definitely out of my comfort zone.

see, i went and met a coworker who loves to kayak.  we had never met in person but we had weekly dealings over the internet.  would that describe the way most people meet these days?  i'd say so.

anyway, i met this woman and her family and it was great.  kayaking was everything i thought it would be and more.  what a great workout!  and oh, the solitude and beauty of the water and trees around us...i definitely would love to do that again!

here are some pictures from the weekend in the kayak...enjoy!

images taken @ Buntzen Lake  

http://www.bchydro.com/community/recreation_areas/buntzen_lake.html

BB Messenger

i dont get BB messenger.

i *see* the purpose of it but i dont get *it*.

for instance, why is there always a sign with a clock beside someone's name?  is it because they have walked away from the conversation and havent received the message?  is it because they havent closed the last conversation, or is it because they are done talking without saying goodbye?  if that is the case, then how rude.

my sil will BB messenge me now and then which just irritates me.  i dont know why and i really dont feel like getting into it here, but in general she just gets on my nerves.  she is one of those people who always have the ticking clock beside their faded out profile.  i dont get that.  when i'm done with a BB conversation, i close it.  why bother keeping it open?

i dont get it.  maybe i'm just a luddite at heart.

i also dont like the idea of being available to anyone at their convenience and then hearing all about it when you dont answer their calls.  i get that bitch and moaning from the inlaws quite often.  "you never answer when i call"...hey, have you ever thought that i could be BUSY?  maybe getting to the phone ISNT a priority for me?  or i could be OUT?  just because it's convenient for YOU to call me, doesnt necessarily mean that it's convenient for ME to answer.  nobody ever respects the idea of privacy in that family.  hey, if they cant get you by phone or cell phone, they'll just show up at your door and then look at you funny when YOU give them a look for showing up.  and then they'll say "well, we DID call you"...uhm, does that somehow give you a pass? 

i know the possibilty could be somewhat out there, but maybe, just maybe i'm fucking your son/brother.  ever thought of that?

Renos, the update

so here we go!

the other day i cashed in my airmiles to start my reno project in the office and to fully intend to take advantage of the tax breaks.  did you know that even paint counts as a tax benefit?  cool! 

anyway, i bought the laminate flooring and chose my paint colors for the office, which is always exciting. 

after great trepidation and many hours worry-warting, i went out on a limb and decided that the office HAS to be renovated in the next couple of weeks.  but it was a question of where to begin?  so i sought out the advice of someone who has many years of experience with D-I-Y projects and makes a living restoring things to get his perspective on where i should start.  many thanks to DW for pointing me in the right direction!

i was instructed to begin taking off the baseboards before ripping up the carpet.  fine.  but gak!  how?  DW once again told me i could find a tool at rona to do that, so off to rona where the nice associate tom told me i could do it with a screwdriver and hammer and to save my money.  BONUS!  so i came home and pried all the baseboards off in the office.  WOO HOO!  but then i was stuck with either baseboard nails in the wall or sticking out of the baseboards.  i have since discovered that it is best to have them sticking out of the wall because they are a complete BITCH to pull out of baseboards and it will require more elbow grease, cursing (which i consider one of my strengths, thanks), and more patching of holes with wood-tinted putty when it comes time to reassemble the mess.

since the carpet is coming up anyway, i figured it would be best to just leave it on before painting and that way i wouldnt have to use drop cloths.  and truth be told, i know that when the carpet comes up, this renovation is REALLY beginning and there is a part of me that fears the beginning.  i cant rationalize it and i think it's really a silly fear, but beginning things is always the hardest for me.  once i get going, i can really fly with it, but starting?  now that's another question all together.

so i taped the walls....

and then started painting....

as for the colors i chose, the light beigey tan color is called "Aztec Ruin" and the green is "tera nova", both from rona.  john @ rona was particularly helpful in mixing my colors and initially had thought i wanted "Flax" as my cream color and had mixed an entire gallon of this accidentally.  fortunately he was kind enough to shrug it off without giving me attitude (bonus) and remix what i wanted.

so the walls are pretty well done, altho i have to say that i'm a tad dismayed that it took three freaking coats of paint to do the green (on a light colored wall) and it looks as if we still have touchups to do.  the cream, thankfully, is more forgiving.

so today i'm doing the bedroom walls in the "Aztec Ruin" and have yet to choose a feature wall color.  i had initial plans of choosing an orangey color (akin to the pic from our mexican adventure), but i suspect it will not work well with the orange...the next choice was "Moody Blue" from rona, but i'm also uncertain whether it will compliment the yellowy tone in the paint and am worried it will make the cream color look more yellow by proxy.  time will tell.

i am also hoping to rip up the office carpet later today and throw it away.  the mildew smell is getting on my nerves and i really want it out of here...the laminate will be laid in a couple of weeks (or 10 days likely) just so that it will acclimatise to our home.

MIA...

I know i've been MIA over the past few weeks and i fully intend to fix that by making an effort to post regularly.

it's been crazy busy, what with travelling to YVR and having weekends filled with activities.  i'm hoping that the fall will be equally as busy, but more home-based than travelling.  i'm beginning my office renos now, which is very stressful in my mind.  i will update more on that later and do it as i go.

growing up?

at what point do we finally grow up and become adults?

i understand the legalities of eighteen, but i wonder when it is we mentally mature and accept responsibility?

i know a few adults who are more than capeable in the workforce, yet become utterly immobilized when certain things happen to them which renders them into whining snivelling brats.

i fail to understand how they can have successes in the workplace and promotions, yet cant handle a spider nesting outside their home, or a humidifier leak in an unfinished basement, or a potential gas leak without being reduced to tears and calling someone to whine about it without actually taking initiative to DO something about the problem.  it seems easier for these people to cry and whine and moan and just do so in a manner to try to appeal to the other person's emotions and instinctive protective nature from bad family patterns of enabling.

these same people are always quick to tell you how successful they are but seem to do so in a manner that would imply that what you do will never be quite as important as what they do daily.

they seem to make excuses for any behaviour they are called on such as telling other staff that they were never trained how to treat support staff.  even simple things like going to a fitness facility becomes excuses of "if only" the shower was working at work, instead of openly admitting the obvious.

it just seems that work places and life are both teeming with these pseudo-adults running amuck with veneers of marble, yet are filled with sand bracing for the slightest breeze.

why am i doing this again?

someone, please...clarify for me why it is i have committed to do a 6am fitness class?  WHY?

it's sunday of a long weekend and people are going out to have beer and wings...and here i sit saying NO because i have to be up at 530am to make it to class on time.

i know that common sense tells me that i'll thank myself later for being committed, but when i know that monday is a holiday, it's really hard to be firm about not wanting to hit the gym and sweat my balls off when i could be sitting there, enjoying a HUGE beer and clam!  ugh!

but then i guess with that comes the late night, the entire day of guilt (not to mention the hangover) and the lack of work that will be accomplished.

i know i am making the right choice, but the devil on my shoulder tells me i'm not...

how the hell do i make that little fucker shut up??

californication

Dear, Karen...


if you're reading this, it means I
actually worked up the courage to mail it.
So, good for me.
You don't know me very well but if you get me started,
I have a tendency to go on and on
about how hard the writing is for me.

But this...
this is the hardest thing
I've ever had to write.

There's no easy way to say
this, so I'll just say it:
I met someone.
It was an accident.
I wasn't looking for it.
I wasn't on the make.
It was a perfect storm.
She said one thing. I said another.
Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest
of my life in the middle of that conversation.
Now there's this feeling in my gut.
She might be the one.
She's completely nuts...
in a way that makes me
smile
-- highly neurotic.
A great deal of maintenance required.

She is you, Karen.

That's the good news.

The bad is that I don't know
how to be with you right now
And it scares the shit out of me.
Because if I'm not with you right now, I
have this feeling we'll get lost out there.
It's a big, bad world
full of twists and turns,
and people have a way of
blinking and missing the moment...
the moment that could've
changed everything.
I don't know what's going on with us,
and I can't tell you why you should waste
a leap of faith on the likes of me...
but, damn, you smell
good -- like home.

And you make excellent coffee.

That's got to count
for something, right?


Call me.


Unfaithfully yours,
Hank Moody.