Open letter to my neighbours....

dear neighbours,

it's been a while since i've seen you around.  i just heard your squeaky truck pull up and that's the first time i've seen you in months.

i swear you are crazy. 

nice, but madly insane.

you are fortunate that i keep my crazy in check because you make it painfully obvious when your husband is not home.  shutting drapes and generally putting your house in lock down mode is basically leaving a huge obvious sign to burglars saying that the man of the house is not home and it's just you and your 7 yr old.  i'm just sayin'.

also?  why dont you put your garbage out in the alley like the rest of us normal folks?  we just got nice brand new sparkling garbages (which i love, by the way, in case you're asking) and yet you leave yours in the garage and wont haul it to the back alley?  why?  when you built your fence, you even put in a city approved garbage enclosure but didnt use it.  why not?  instead, i see you pack the back of your squeaky truck with garbage bags and squirrel them away to destinations unknown.  just so you know, the dog that used to rip up the garbages has long since left the neighbourhood.  and even now that we have these new-fangled garbage contraptions, the animals still wont break in...altho i'm sure that crafty racoons would figure it out somehow.

and why is it that you insist on going outside every time i'm out there?  why?  just because i'm sitting on my deck enjoying the peace and quiet does not mean i'm up for a visit you know.  i like being alone and i most certainly dont go out there hoping you'll come out and chatter away about the goings on in the neighbourhood.  yes, i like you, but i also like you more when i'm trying to enjoy being alone and you're not around.  and oh, while we are on the subject, if i'm on the phone, it kinda means that i'm not up to having a conversation with you over the fence.  again, i'm just sayin.

and all those half assed dinner invites?  i knew you were never serious when you uttered them.  i knew they were meaningless utterances.  why bother saying anything if you dont mean it?  for the record, i was never busy, even when i told you the opposite.  but that's ok.  i can cook for myself, thank god.

what i really didnt get was how eager you all were to help us with our fence, yet spurned any interaction outside of fence talk.  i invited you for tea once and before i could even get the question out, you interrupted with a big NO and no further explanation. 

but honestly?  thank you.  thank you for all the help and gardening advice.  your ideas and suggestions and information really did help.  and despite the fact that i dont have kids, i do appreciate the effort you go to when decorating your yard for hallowe'en.  it does look cool.  but i still wont hand out candy to your kid and i'll ignore the doorbell this year just as i have done for the last 3 years.  yes, scrooge comes early too.

but thank you for being quiet, polite and saying hello on occasion.  thank you for not having a party and throwing your empties on my lawn.  thank you for showing pride in your residence and shovelling your driveway in the winter and mowing your lawn in the summer...altho i'll still never understand why you do it immediately after i've done it.

i appreciate you guys.  even if you are a little crazy every now and then.

signed,
your neighbour.