how can a marriage survive when you hate things about the other person?
ch hates my family. he has nothing to do with any of them. if there is a family function, he wont go. he doesnt even put forth a valid excuse...he just says "no, i'm not going" and has no reason. of course i never pressed it in the past because GOD FORBID there's conflict, but all that's done is piss me off in the future. it makes me think that perhaps having conflict at the time of the insult would be much better than carrying loads of anger and unresolved hurt years down the road.
ch hates my friends. no real reason. just hates them. thinks that i should be friends with his single male friends. uhm, does he really believe that i need to be best friends with ross? fergie? where they are nice enough guys and are considerate to me for the most part, they are SINGLE.GUYS. i dont want single guys in my life, especially if there is the potential for a line to be crossed. and dont get me started on how annoying it is that these asswipes think i can just take over for them and be the wendy to their lost boy clan. i already have one useless fool in my life....i dont need more.
ch hates my music. explainable.
but then i sit back and wonder what it is ch likes about me. it cant be my personality because i think i'm really cranky. i cant help it. i'm tired of stuffing emotions away because i'm afraid of conflict. it just manifests itself in anger. and GOD FORBID i ever have an opinion contrary to his family's dogma. god forbid i make a real comment about his sister that isnt flattering but is true AND deserved.
ch doesnt have sex with me. it's been going on for almost 2 months. and yes, i could initiate it, but why? i've always initiated it. i'm done with that. so for now we go to bed at different times and wake at different times...sure, we could make time for sex, but that means that someone has to get on top of those things and seeing as ALL responsibilities around here seem to fall on my shoulders, i just dont want to. i'm fucking tired of being responsible for everything working around here.
it really has to be nice to be ch...he comes home, the house is clean, his laundry is done, he may or may not have to cook for himself, but seeing as he doesnt mind bbqing or cooking meat, he does it himself because he now refuses to eat what i eat. oh yes, that's right...he hates what i cook. and i'm not a bad cook, i really am not. ch's palate does not include liking or eating veggies, fish, or anything that hasnt come from a cow or a box.
i just dont know what to think anymore...i just know that i'm tired of being angry and resentful.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
how can a marriage survive when you hate things about the other person?
ch hates my family. he has nothing to do with any of them. if there is a family function, he wont go. he doesnt even put forth a valid excuse...he just says "no, i'm not going" and has no reason. of course i never pressed it in the past because GOD FORBID there's conflict, but all that's done is piss me off in the future. it makes me think that perhaps having conflict at the time of the insult would be much better than carrying loads of anger and unresolved hurt years down the road.
ch hates my friends. no real reason. just hates them. thinks that i should be friends with his single male friends. uhm, does he really believe that i need to be best friends with ross? fergie? where they are nice enough guys and are considerate to me for the most part, they are SINGLE.GUYS. i dont want single guys in my life, especially if there is the potential for a line to be crossed. and dont get me started on how annoying it is that these asswipes think i can just take over for them and be the wendy to their lost boy clan. i already have one useless fool in my life....i dont need more.
ch hates my music. explainable.
but then i sit back and wonder what it is ch likes about me. it cant be my personality because i think i'm really cranky. i cant help it. i'm tired of stuffing emotions away because i'm afraid of conflict. it just manifests itself in anger. and GOD FORBID i ever have an opinion contrary to his family's dogma. god forbid i make a real comment about his sister that isnt flattering but is true AND deserved.
ch doesnt have sex with me. it's been going on for almost 2 months. and yes, i could initiate it, but why? i've always initiated it. i'm done with that. so for now we go to bed at different times and wake at different times...sure, we could make time for sex, but that means that someone has to get on top of those things and seeing as ALL responsibilities around here seem to fall on my shoulders, i just dont want to. i'm fucking tired of being responsible for everything working around here.
it really has to be nice to be ch...he comes home, the house is clean, his laundry is done, he may or may not have to cook for himself, but seeing as he doesnt mind bbqing or cooking meat, he does it himself because he now refuses to eat what i eat. oh yes, that's right...he hates what i cook. and i'm not a bad cook, i really am not. ch's palate does not include liking or eating veggies, fish, or anything that hasnt come from a cow or a box.
i just dont know what to think anymore...i just know that i'm tired of being angry and resentful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment