yeah, we do.
it doesnt seem to matter who it is, what walk of life...we have something we feel passionate about. last night becky, rhonda, and i talked the night away which culminated into rhonda discussing her conversion. she ended up being very emotional over it. later becky and i talked about it because i had to apologize for bringing her mother to tears. it wasnt my intention...i had merely asked how she and tom became a couple.
beck just told me to ignore her mother's tears. i just couldnt tho. i saw how passionate she is about her faith and how much it has influenced her life. without it, she wouldnt be there. i know this.
i think we all have something which tears us up. nobody can really chastise it or condemn it. everyone has something which moves them and makes them passionate, thankful, motivated. who am i to criticise it? i accept it the same way i'd hope that people accept me. i may not agree with the concepts of mormonism and how they affect me and my life, but i can certainly appreciate how it would influence someone else and at that moment last night while rhonda poured out her heart, i felt some kind of fleeting envy for her devotion and comfort.
i've never been religious. oh i tried, but all the time i was trying, i felt as if i was faking it. every time we'd pray, i'd close my eyes and think of other things. the right side of my shoulder would tell me to concentrate, and the left side would roll its eyes and laugh. maybe over time the left side took over. some might say so. over time i came to understand that i was doing things to please others and ignoring myself. i stopped going to church. why bother when your spouse refuses to go? going alone is no fun. and there were times i was there crying during church needlessly. it was embarassing. i dont think anyone saw, but church was my crying place. there were songs and psalms that made me cry; not because of my faith, IN SPITE of it.
i have always remained slightly envious of those who believe unquestioningly...wondering what it is they exactly believe and simultaneously wondering if they're going to be really disappointed that life snuffs out the moment we exhale our last? or also wondering if i'm going to be wrong.
again.
yeah, we do.
it doesnt seem to matter who it is, what walk of life...we have something we feel passionate about. last night becky, rhonda, and i talked the night away which culminated into rhonda discussing her conversion. she ended up being very emotional over it. later becky and i talked about it because i had to apologize for bringing her mother to tears. it wasnt my intention...i had merely asked how she and tom became a couple.
beck just told me to ignore her mother's tears. i just couldnt tho. i saw how passionate she is about her faith and how much it has influenced her life. without it, she wouldnt be there. i know this.
i think we all have something which tears us up. nobody can really chastise it or condemn it. everyone has something which moves them and makes them passionate, thankful, motivated. who am i to criticise it? i accept it the same way i'd hope that people accept me. i may not agree with the concepts of mormonism and how they affect me and my life, but i can certainly appreciate how it would influence someone else and at that moment last night while rhonda poured out her heart, i felt some kind of fleeting envy for her devotion and comfort.
i've never been religious. oh i tried, but all the time i was trying, i felt as if i was faking it. every time we'd pray, i'd close my eyes and think of other things. the right side of my shoulder would tell me to concentrate, and the left side would roll its eyes and laugh. maybe over time the left side took over. some might say so. over time i came to understand that i was doing things to please others and ignoring myself. i stopped going to church. why bother when your spouse refuses to go? going alone is no fun. and there were times i was there crying during church needlessly. it was embarassing. i dont think anyone saw, but church was my crying place. there were songs and psalms that made me cry; not because of my faith, IN SPITE of it.
i have always remained slightly envious of those who believe unquestioningly...wondering what it is they exactly believe and simultaneously wondering if they're going to be really disappointed that life snuffs out the moment we exhale our last? or also wondering if i'm going to be wrong.
again.
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