arrived at yoga last night and sandra was going ON about how i should feel sorry for her.
she was complaining she's been really moody lately and i'm not sure what it really is. i'm pretty sure it's a combination of being fucked over by some guy who laid it out clearly for her, but she never quite got it, and her parents, oh and likely me. of course i am living my life merrily and i'm not going to pack my bags for that guilt trip, thanks.
so she starts in by complaining that she has so much yard work to do. in the past her 80+yr old dad would come and help her clean the yard each year. this year her mother has said "no way" and has put her foot down and thinks sandra should take care of her own business. i have mentioned it in the past but this just reiterates that sandra lives in a different reality than most of us who function on our own. she expects her ageing parents to do for her in ways that are incomprehensible. so she was going on last night that she has to do everything herself in the house she owns. and i cant help but say "SO?" as she's saying it because it's HER HOUSE, so she should do the maintenance!!! FFS! she was complaining about how much there was to do and how expensive it all is to get people to fix things and do for her. well, unless you learn it yourself, you'll rely on the service industry to help you, which is ok, but it is REALITY.
so then she starts in saying that she has to do it all alone and how she could go out with someone who is nice and isnt attractive to her or go after the attractive ones who treat her like shit. and i know she's using the initial statement aimed at me for suggesting who she should date. again, i'm not going to really listen to it but it annoys me because LIFE IS CHOICES. she's choosing not to date or to pick winners, nobody else is to blame for that.
then she starts in again about vacationing and how she wants to go to hawaii again and waah waah it's too expensive to go on her own, but none of her friends will go with her because they're married or have boyfriends. i know that is a direct stab at me. like i'm supposed to feel guilty because i STAYED married? because i want to spend time with someone i married? i'm sorry but my life is not full of entertaining single friends because they're bored, lonely, or scared when it's convenient for them.
she yammered on that i have a full social life and it's so unfair because she does not. i got kind of defensive about that. i wish i just told her to stop comparing me to her because it's two different ball games. the thing is she thinks she knows me but she has NO clue about anything. and i think she was basing it on me going to 2 parties this weekend, so she suddenly believes i have this rich social life where she pales in comparison.
i really get sick of her woe is me conversations. like it's to the point now where i'm thinking that i'm going to start telling her that life is choices and she's chosen her path so she either best be accepting that choice and SHUTTING THE FUCK UP or changing it and that it's NOBODY else's problem that she isnt doing the the things in her life she wants to do other than hers.
yeah, i think this relationship has run its course. i have waxed and waned with her and now i completely understand why i stay away from her for long periods of time. it always starts out good, but i get SO tired of her endless envy and pity parties and insecurities that i just have to stay away.
being around her actually makes me madder and i really hate being angry.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
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arrived at yoga last night and sandra was going ON about how i should feel sorry for her.
she was complaining she's been really moody lately and i'm not sure what it really is. i'm pretty sure it's a combination of being fucked over by some guy who laid it out clearly for her, but she never quite got it, and her parents, oh and likely me. of course i am living my life merrily and i'm not going to pack my bags for that guilt trip, thanks.
so she starts in by complaining that she has so much yard work to do. in the past her 80+yr old dad would come and help her clean the yard each year. this year her mother has said "no way" and has put her foot down and thinks sandra should take care of her own business. i have mentioned it in the past but this just reiterates that sandra lives in a different reality than most of us who function on our own. she expects her ageing parents to do for her in ways that are incomprehensible. so she was going on last night that she has to do everything herself in the house she owns. and i cant help but say "SO?" as she's saying it because it's HER HOUSE, so she should do the maintenance!!! FFS! she was complaining about how much there was to do and how expensive it all is to get people to fix things and do for her. well, unless you learn it yourself, you'll rely on the service industry to help you, which is ok, but it is REALITY.
so then she starts in saying that she has to do it all alone and how she could go out with someone who is nice and isnt attractive to her or go after the attractive ones who treat her like shit. and i know she's using the initial statement aimed at me for suggesting who she should date. again, i'm not going to really listen to it but it annoys me because LIFE IS CHOICES. she's choosing not to date or to pick winners, nobody else is to blame for that.
then she starts in again about vacationing and how she wants to go to hawaii again and waah waah it's too expensive to go on her own, but none of her friends will go with her because they're married or have boyfriends. i know that is a direct stab at me. like i'm supposed to feel guilty because i STAYED married? because i want to spend time with someone i married? i'm sorry but my life is not full of entertaining single friends because they're bored, lonely, or scared when it's convenient for them.
she yammered on that i have a full social life and it's so unfair because she does not. i got kind of defensive about that. i wish i just told her to stop comparing me to her because it's two different ball games. the thing is she thinks she knows me but she has NO clue about anything. and i think she was basing it on me going to 2 parties this weekend, so she suddenly believes i have this rich social life where she pales in comparison.
i really get sick of her woe is me conversations. like it's to the point now where i'm thinking that i'm going to start telling her that life is choices and she's chosen her path so she either best be accepting that choice and SHUTTING THE FUCK UP or changing it and that it's NOBODY else's problem that she isnt doing the the things in her life she wants to do other than hers.
yeah, i think this relationship has run its course. i have waxed and waned with her and now i completely understand why i stay away from her for long periods of time. it always starts out good, but i get SO tired of her endless envy and pity parties and insecurities that i just have to stay away.
being around her actually makes me madder and i really hate being angry.
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