old friends

my friend's visit this weekend has sparked some controversy on the home front in regards to my mother.

my mom has been friends with my friend's mom since we were toddlers.  i dont know how they met, but they were friends way back in the 70's.  we used to hang out with the arnolds quite a bit when we lived in tudor and i remember being babysat by them in 1978 when my parents went to las vegas.  i still can recall a bell bottomed and big haired picture of my parents and my aunt and uncle as they stood in front of circus circus.  i imagine back then circus circus was THE place to go.  nowadays it isnt, but that's vegas.

my parents kept in touch with the arnolds over the years.  exchanged xmas cards, sometimes went and visited, and generally kept tabs on each other over the years.  in the last couple of years tho, the contact has stopped on my mom's part.  i think lynda still continues to send xmas letters, but my mom has cut her out completely.

i mentioned that i was going to be seeing jen this weekend and received this email from my mom (please ignore the rash of commas...it's a copy and paste job):

Hi T
I meant to mention, T, that if Jen B mentions / asks after, us, just say we're fine , and leave it at that, please. I haven't bothered with Xmas cards to Lynda and Ken the past couple of xmas's but she still continues to send them, full of bragging about how well the older ones are doing (never word of Grant, nor of Jen, but lots of gushing over Kathy and Barb) and always adds in the closing that they must make plans to come to Lethbridge for a weekend to see us, sometime soon. I think Ken is a nice man, but I do get tired of Lynda's constant bragging about the girls; and then she will go on about the Lauridsen's (they have been friendly with them for decades, am sure) and starts in all about their kids and grandkids, etc, that I wouldn't kow from Adam, as the saying goes, and and don't care a hoot about. Since it seems we have nothing in common any more, and I'd be just as happy letting that aquaintance-ship (hardly call it friendship) dwindle away. So, unless Jen persists (which is unlikely), we're "fine",end of subject. thanks, T!
love
Mom

i dont understand my  mom.  i mean, the woman has no friends and here are some old friends who want to see her and keep in touch with her, but she has somehow deemed them unfit to associate with.  lynda and ken have done nothing to her, other than keep in touch with her.  isnt it a parent's job to talk about their children?  to talk about their grandkids? 

i havent figured out if my mom is jealous that her 4 kids have all been successful professionals or not.  afterall, lynda and ken's 3 daughters have done well: lawyer, doctor, and teacher, and their son is an engineer.  i know that i have always been amazed by their successes and happy for them.  if you ask me, it IS something to be proud of. 

my mom has always been a competitive person.  she always wants to be the centre of attention at any gathering or occasion, even if it is just her and i.  she always has to dominate every conversation with her useless idle neighbourhood gossip and stories of things which are usually repeats of stories told years ago.  if you dare to say you've heard it before, she will pout and sulk.  sometimes it's best to just nod gamely and try to recall an event in your head that brought you pleasure so you can tune her out.  i have often employed that method and she is none the wiser.  thankfully there are no quizzes at the end of the conversation, otherwise my plan would be foiled.

i wonder if she feels inadequate because my sister and i pale in comparison to the arnold 4 on the success ladder?  i cant figure out why there is hostility. and quite frankly, my mom herself will talk endlessly about people nobody knows or cares about and god forbid you reveal you dont care, so why does she feel so pissy about the arnolds wanting to keep in touch with her?  and i dont understand her wanting me to comply with her ass backward thoughts either.

it's not like i'm going to make my parents the subject of any conversation.  they really arent a blip on my radar in my day to day activities, so most certainly they dont rank as a viable conversation piece with a friend i havent seen in years.  honestly, i dont get the drama over the whole thing.  what is mom worried about?  that i'll reveal her dirty secrets?  that i will tell them that she likely had an affair and contracted an STD?  that her days are spent gossiping and likely fucking someone else?  what does she really think is going to be discussed saturday??

all this confirms my previous stance on my parents: the less they know about me and my life, the better it is.