angst

i'm sorry this blog has been so blarg.  yeah, it's more of a blarg than a blog.  it's just how this month has gone, i'm afraid.

i'm still wondering what to do about the cat.  i was determined as of 16:00hrs to put her to sleep, that it was the only option.

then i got home from the gym and fed her yogurt and the cat ate it.  i gave her milk and she drank it.  maybe small sips, but she did nonetheless.  after a while, she got up and played in the waterdish.  she would chase the bubbles and want to play with them.  i got down and grabbed a spoon and she lapped some water out of the spoon which made me think that i could possibly hydrate her that way.  fuck, i think i'm going loco with this.

then i started hoping that i could just call a couple of vet clinics in the hat to see if i can get her in for surgery in the next 48-72hrs.  i'm definitely considering that right now...so i'm going to get up tomorrow morning and make the calls and see.  my regular clinic cant do it till march 5th and that's a no go for me, so i'm going to start making calls and seeing what happens.

if i come up with nothing, i might try the clinic in maple creek.  YES, it's in saskatchewan.  i KNOW.  but i have heard good things about it...good drs and prices...and it will be my final hope.

if there are negative answers, i will then turn to euthanasia.  i dont want the cat to suffer much longer and i dont think she can hold on till march 16th.  and even if she does, i think she wont be in any shape to operate on.

my biggest regret is not booking the surgery feb 3rd when i was initially in to the vet.  i should have done it then because they would have got me in within the last 2 weeks and i'd have my answers....

i wonder if it's going to be my biggest regret in all this, second to not giving her all her antibiotics....