lately i've been a victim to murphy's law. you know, what happens always inevitably happens to you.
the other day i had an advance left at a light. some fucker coming toward me decided to turn right in front of me. he had a red, but ran it and cut me off as i was turning left. so he sped through the playground zone but then decided once the zone was over, that he'd do 30km/hr. why all of a sudden, i'll never know.
so then the fuck creeped down the street at 30 and BRAKED at a green light and creeped through the intersection as he turned left. meanwhile i'm behind him cursing a blue streak and trying not to hold the horn down all the way through the neighbourhood. OF COURSE the fucking light turned yellow as he was creeping through so i couldnt get through. naturally i was running late. natrually.
i also call murphy's law "the janice beagle snowball effect". janice was a spoiled twat i attended elementary school with. she was always whiny and crying about something. every single gym class, she'd be bawling or in tears because someone bumped her. and she never cried quietly. oh no, bitch would cry so that the whole school would stop in its tracks. janice was the youngest of 2 and her older brother was the fattest kid and likely one of the meanest in our elementary school. we were always afraid of hurting janice because we were ultimately scared of robbie.
so one day we had a snowball fight. i had known janice 7 yrs and known of her constant desire to bawl and call attention to herself. i had an opportunity to pelt her with a snowball and being the pussy that i was, i GENTLY lobbed it at her. like, i'm talking underhand and very very gingerly. well, wouldnt you know it, the fucking snowball hit her square in the face! SPLAT! and then BAAAAAWWWWWWWWWLING to stop the entire school short.
i was the last person who would have deliberately hurt someone. even someone as deserving as janice beagle. she should have had many snowballs hurled at her head all throughout elementary.
what i'm trying to say is that when shitty murphy's law comes into play, i term it the janice beagle snowball effect.
janice...you deserved it and more, you bitch.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
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lately i've been a victim to murphy's law. you know, what happens always inevitably happens to you.
the other day i had an advance left at a light. some fucker coming toward me decided to turn right in front of me. he had a red, but ran it and cut me off as i was turning left. so he sped through the playground zone but then decided once the zone was over, that he'd do 30km/hr. why all of a sudden, i'll never know.
so then the fuck creeped down the street at 30 and BRAKED at a green light and creeped through the intersection as he turned left. meanwhile i'm behind him cursing a blue streak and trying not to hold the horn down all the way through the neighbourhood. OF COURSE the fucking light turned yellow as he was creeping through so i couldnt get through. naturally i was running late. natrually.
i also call murphy's law "the janice beagle snowball effect". janice was a spoiled twat i attended elementary school with. she was always whiny and crying about something. every single gym class, she'd be bawling or in tears because someone bumped her. and she never cried quietly. oh no, bitch would cry so that the whole school would stop in its tracks. janice was the youngest of 2 and her older brother was the fattest kid and likely one of the meanest in our elementary school. we were always afraid of hurting janice because we were ultimately scared of robbie.
so one day we had a snowball fight. i had known janice 7 yrs and known of her constant desire to bawl and call attention to herself. i had an opportunity to pelt her with a snowball and being the pussy that i was, i GENTLY lobbed it at her. like, i'm talking underhand and very very gingerly. well, wouldnt you know it, the fucking snowball hit her square in the face! SPLAT! and then BAAAAAWWWWWWWWWLING to stop the entire school short.
i was the last person who would have deliberately hurt someone. even someone as deserving as janice beagle. she should have had many snowballs hurled at her head all throughout elementary.
what i'm trying to say is that when shitty murphy's law comes into play, i term it the janice beagle snowball effect.
janice...you deserved it and more, you bitch.
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