the sil is having a cousin in and wants us to come over and sit there and have a few drinks. quite frankly, i'd rather sit alone in my house than listen to the sil brag about being "drunk with power" at her new job or yammer endlessly on about how awesome she is and how shitty everyone else in the world is in comparison. nobody will get a word in edgewise in the 2+hrs we will be sitting there, despite none of us seeing the cousin since our wedding.
i plan on flat out saying NO to ch when he asks me to go along and i know i'll receive the silent treatment. for some reason he always has it in his head that i have to accompany him to any and all family functions. in the meantime he has no interest whatsoever in attending any family functions, never has a legit excuse as to why not, and i never really call him out on it either. i probably should have but at times i figure it's just so much easier to leave him here than to drag him along with him protesting the entire way and once there, sitting in a corner expecting me to entertain him all night long so he isnt *bored* or fucking well having to deal with him constantly watching his watch and wanting to make a fast escape. nevermind that i may not have seen any of these people since a decade ago and havent made my rounds, HE is bored. sometimes it's much easier to leave him at home and then go and enjoy myself without having to hear about it later: "you left me there and i had nobody to talk to" or "i was so bored, i wanted to go hours ago, but you are evil". oh it happens.
conversely, i attend all his family crap, even tho i'd rather be strapped to a chair and made to watch "hanna montana" reruns. i attend pleasantly, make chit chat with people, and dont pout going or coming from said events. honestly, i could win an oscar for my appearances in a family drama, i really could. to say i'm a good sport is putting it mildly.
what gets me down about a lot of the H family get togethers are that they're incredibly rude. for instance, we will all go out for dinner (just the mil, sil, fil, and ch and i) and they will all conversate within their own dynamic and exclude me. so it will be ch and his father having a deep discussion about work or what have you, clearly a private conversation, and then the mil and sil will start in with their topic of choice that is usually about something they've done together, something you can not possibly contribute to because you were not there on their annual trip to disneyland (yes, they do that and i think it's incredibly ODD). so i'll just be sitting there in my own world and all of them are completely oblivious to the fact that they havent included me in a conversation.
i like to think that when i'm out with a friend and have someone coming along who isnt entirely familiar with that friend, that i include them in conversations or try to steer the conversation toward something we all can discuss. not so with the female inlaws. i had particularly noticed it after my wedding shower when we came back to the house with them and my sister and a friend. the four of them sat around the kitchen table and had coffee. my kitchen table is incredibly small, so there isnt a lot of room for much else beyond your plate and a glass...in other words, it's a tight setting. the mil and sil immediately launched into a conversation that only included them while my sister and her friend sat there trying to either contribute (which was rebuked by them talking OVER my sister) or trying to follow along, but can you really contribute to a conversation that goes something like this:
mil: wasnt that funny, that one time in disneyland?
sil: (laughing) oh yeah, THAT time...hilarious.
[inane tittering and giggling commences]
seriously, their conversations are much like that. you have had to be there to get it, otherwise it's pointless to even try to pretend to know (or care) what they are discussing. but it's definitely uncomfortable to sit there amidst such blatant rude behaviour,especially when you are trapped into sitting there for an hour plus for dinner. occasionally my father in law will emerge from the conversation and notice that nobody's talking to me and he will ask me a question. usually it's something inane or uncomfortable like "how often do you vacuum" or "when are YOU going to put a roof over your deck" and the entire table will stop to listen to my response, as if i've suddenly appeared at the table like a spectre. i will immediately feel uncomfortable because they will all stop and stare and my stupid husband wont come to my defense to help answer the question, but rather takes on the form of a juror or interrogation panel member as i'm quizzed about inane and irrelevant subjects that i firmly believe they will rehash in their nightly phone home to mommy calls.
regardless, every family dinner goes that way. even if it is just ch and the sil, they will talk about inane and boring things like how the flames are doing, or go ON about sports and conversations that are not all-inclusive. i tend to think that it's their way of reiterating that you dont quite belong in this exclusive and wonderful club they've created for themselves and i think they just enjoy making it blindly obvious that you dont fit in.
there are times where i truly just want to get up from the table and leave. i doubt anyone would notice either, except for when it came time to brag about how drunk with power someone is. most of the time, i sit there and try to conjure up memories of discussions i've had with people who make me laugh, and as a result, i'll often start giggling to myself or snickering. mostly, i just think about therapy and make mental notes about how i've got to talk about this with my therapist in the next session.
as for tonight, i really hope i can just get out of going by just saying that i dont want to be there. do i like ch's cousins? for the most part, yes. they are all harmless people. incredibly dull, but harmless. but just because they're harmless doesnt mean i want to endure hours of shameless self promotion by the narcissist of the family either. i saw her two weeks ago and that was enough. i should be good for another six months.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
the sil is having a cousin in and wants us to come over and sit there and have a few drinks. quite frankly, i'd rather sit alone in my house than listen to the sil brag about being "drunk with power" at her new job or yammer endlessly on about how awesome she is and how shitty everyone else in the world is in comparison. nobody will get a word in edgewise in the 2+hrs we will be sitting there, despite none of us seeing the cousin since our wedding.
i plan on flat out saying NO to ch when he asks me to go along and i know i'll receive the silent treatment. for some reason he always has it in his head that i have to accompany him to any and all family functions. in the meantime he has no interest whatsoever in attending any family functions, never has a legit excuse as to why not, and i never really call him out on it either. i probably should have but at times i figure it's just so much easier to leave him here than to drag him along with him protesting the entire way and once there, sitting in a corner expecting me to entertain him all night long so he isnt *bored* or fucking well having to deal with him constantly watching his watch and wanting to make a fast escape. nevermind that i may not have seen any of these people since a decade ago and havent made my rounds, HE is bored. sometimes it's much easier to leave him at home and then go and enjoy myself without having to hear about it later: "you left me there and i had nobody to talk to" or "i was so bored, i wanted to go hours ago, but you are evil". oh it happens.
conversely, i attend all his family crap, even tho i'd rather be strapped to a chair and made to watch "hanna montana" reruns. i attend pleasantly, make chit chat with people, and dont pout going or coming from said events. honestly, i could win an oscar for my appearances in a family drama, i really could. to say i'm a good sport is putting it mildly.
what gets me down about a lot of the H family get togethers are that they're incredibly rude. for instance, we will all go out for dinner (just the mil, sil, fil, and ch and i) and they will all conversate within their own dynamic and exclude me. so it will be ch and his father having a deep discussion about work or what have you, clearly a private conversation, and then the mil and sil will start in with their topic of choice that is usually about something they've done together, something you can not possibly contribute to because you were not there on their annual trip to disneyland (yes, they do that and i think it's incredibly ODD). so i'll just be sitting there in my own world and all of them are completely oblivious to the fact that they havent included me in a conversation.
i like to think that when i'm out with a friend and have someone coming along who isnt entirely familiar with that friend, that i include them in conversations or try to steer the conversation toward something we all can discuss. not so with the female inlaws. i had particularly noticed it after my wedding shower when we came back to the house with them and my sister and a friend. the four of them sat around the kitchen table and had coffee. my kitchen table is incredibly small, so there isnt a lot of room for much else beyond your plate and a glass...in other words, it's a tight setting. the mil and sil immediately launched into a conversation that only included them while my sister and her friend sat there trying to either contribute (which was rebuked by them talking OVER my sister) or trying to follow along, but can you really contribute to a conversation that goes something like this:
mil: wasnt that funny, that one time in disneyland?
sil: (laughing) oh yeah, THAT time...hilarious.
[inane tittering and giggling commences]
seriously, their conversations are much like that. you have had to be there to get it, otherwise it's pointless to even try to pretend to know (or care) what they are discussing. but it's definitely uncomfortable to sit there amidst such blatant rude behaviour,especially when you are trapped into sitting there for an hour plus for dinner. occasionally my father in law will emerge from the conversation and notice that nobody's talking to me and he will ask me a question. usually it's something inane or uncomfortable like "how often do you vacuum" or "when are YOU going to put a roof over your deck" and the entire table will stop to listen to my response, as if i've suddenly appeared at the table like a spectre. i will immediately feel uncomfortable because they will all stop and stare and my stupid husband wont come to my defense to help answer the question, but rather takes on the form of a juror or interrogation panel member as i'm quizzed about inane and irrelevant subjects that i firmly believe they will rehash in their nightly phone home to mommy calls.
regardless, every family dinner goes that way. even if it is just ch and the sil, they will talk about inane and boring things like how the flames are doing, or go ON about sports and conversations that are not all-inclusive. i tend to think that it's their way of reiterating that you dont quite belong in this exclusive and wonderful club they've created for themselves and i think they just enjoy making it blindly obvious that you dont fit in.
there are times where i truly just want to get up from the table and leave. i doubt anyone would notice either, except for when it came time to brag about how drunk with power someone is. most of the time, i sit there and try to conjure up memories of discussions i've had with people who make me laugh, and as a result, i'll often start giggling to myself or snickering. mostly, i just think about therapy and make mental notes about how i've got to talk about this with my therapist in the next session.
as for tonight, i really hope i can just get out of going by just saying that i dont want to be there. do i like ch's cousins? for the most part, yes. they are all harmless people. incredibly dull, but harmless. but just because they're harmless doesnt mean i want to endure hours of shameless self promotion by the narcissist of the family either. i saw her two weeks ago and that was enough. i should be good for another six months.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment