today, in less than an hour, i'm going to put my cat tasha to sleep. we've been together 16 years (almost to the day--nov 25/94) and i've been dreading this day for as long as i've had her.
she's been really skinny for the last 5 months and just sunday i noticed that she's not eating. i tried everything: baby food, cheeze whiz, mooshing up her food, feeding her cooked ground chicken to real chicken, and nothing helped. and just now she went to the water dish and looked longingly into it but didnt drink. tried to navigate around it but wouldnt take a sip. i know that the cat can not last without water.
i couldnt go to the gym today. just couldnt. i decided at 8 that i'd bite the bullet and take her. so tired of the highs and lows. and even at noon today when she ate those few pieces of chicken for the first time since saturday, i started to question my decision. but i had called today at 830 and hoped i could get in early while i still had the courage...no, he's in surgery till noon and always has it scheduled that way. that's ok. but the waiting has been killing me all day. i've been counting down and dreading it, cuddling her, and crying and the hours have slowly ticked down.
so now it's 10 mins before i set out in the jeep and take her. and we're going to go through the same process there of examining her and then me bawling and saying just do it. fuck, death sucks.
ironically it's almost 9 months to the exact day i put sid to sleep. it was feb 19/10, about the same time of day. horrid. i even calculated it on a calendar counter and it said 8 months, 29 days.
and what's even weirder is that the snow is falling much the same way it did when i had sid put to sleep. that's really eerie.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
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today, in less than an hour, i'm going to put my cat tasha to sleep. we've been together 16 years (almost to the day--nov 25/94) and i've been dreading this day for as long as i've had her.
she's been really skinny for the last 5 months and just sunday i noticed that she's not eating. i tried everything: baby food, cheeze whiz, mooshing up her food, feeding her cooked ground chicken to real chicken, and nothing helped. and just now she went to the water dish and looked longingly into it but didnt drink. tried to navigate around it but wouldnt take a sip. i know that the cat can not last without water.
i couldnt go to the gym today. just couldnt. i decided at 8 that i'd bite the bullet and take her. so tired of the highs and lows. and even at noon today when she ate those few pieces of chicken for the first time since saturday, i started to question my decision. but i had called today at 830 and hoped i could get in early while i still had the courage...no, he's in surgery till noon and always has it scheduled that way. that's ok. but the waiting has been killing me all day. i've been counting down and dreading it, cuddling her, and crying and the hours have slowly ticked down.
so now it's 10 mins before i set out in the jeep and take her. and we're going to go through the same process there of examining her and then me bawling and saying just do it. fuck, death sucks.
ironically it's almost 9 months to the exact day i put sid to sleep. it was feb 19/10, about the same time of day. horrid. i even calculated it on a calendar counter and it said 8 months, 29 days.
and what's even weirder is that the snow is falling much the same way it did when i had sid put to sleep. that's really eerie.
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