i'm back at the gym trying to go hard. my clothes do not fit and i'm feeling like such a lard ass. i hate it. and the crazy thing is that i'm really good at breakfast and lunch and eating clean but as soon as dinner time hits then i'm off the rails. i know that 90% of my weight gain is from beer and whatever goes along with it. hey, i can do the exercising and for the most part can eat clean, but i come right unglued whenever i drink beer. the thing is that i cant ever quite get away from it. there's always something going on, someone's going out and wants you along, or it's in the house. and there are days like yesterday where i came home from a great workout, hit movie gallery, and the library and did what i wanted to do, and didnt want the emotional high to end. many many beer later, i'm eating fucking cheese and crackers without abandon and generally hating myself in the morning.
why the fuck is it that i'm fucking putting in the effort everywhere else but half assing it in my diet?? that pisses me off.
most folks out there can eat whatever and exercise and maintain. i cant. i can exercise until i'm red in the face, bag myself out, run and shit, but still gain or maintain weight without losing a god damned inch. why? DIET. if i was religiously journalling (which i'm not) then i know i would succeed. i probably also need to boost up the cardio and stick to it. i've got a bike...why in the fuck am i not riding it as much as i can while i can?? saddle sores cant and shouldnt deter me either.
i've got that stupid trip to cancun with the inlaws in december which i need to put in front of me and remind myself that i've got to work hard to look good. those judgy cunts are always critical, so i need to work hard to look good, or better than i do now. ideally it would be so awesome to eat clean and reap the rewards of working hard and not be flabby come december.
i've been tossing around the idea of doing P90X. i've seen the infomercials and been wondering if it's something i could do. of course it means doing it at home and trying to find the space and time to do it in. scratch that: i have time, i just need to MAKE time. anyway, they claim that if you follow their workouts etc, you'll look different come 90 days from when you started. i'm intrigued. there's part of me that wants to try it and just see how i'd change, or if i'd change at all.
of course i wont give up my Y membership because i do like it there and enjoy that i can do my own thing and feel as if i'm kicking my own ass. i'd just like to take it up a notch is all...
Thursday, August 05, 2010
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i'm back at the gym trying to go hard. my clothes do not fit and i'm feeling like such a lard ass. i hate it. and the crazy thing is that i'm really good at breakfast and lunch and eating clean but as soon as dinner time hits then i'm off the rails. i know that 90% of my weight gain is from beer and whatever goes along with it. hey, i can do the exercising and for the most part can eat clean, but i come right unglued whenever i drink beer. the thing is that i cant ever quite get away from it. there's always something going on, someone's going out and wants you along, or it's in the house. and there are days like yesterday where i came home from a great workout, hit movie gallery, and the library and did what i wanted to do, and didnt want the emotional high to end. many many beer later, i'm eating fucking cheese and crackers without abandon and generally hating myself in the morning.
why the fuck is it that i'm fucking putting in the effort everywhere else but half assing it in my diet?? that pisses me off.
most folks out there can eat whatever and exercise and maintain. i cant. i can exercise until i'm red in the face, bag myself out, run and shit, but still gain or maintain weight without losing a god damned inch. why? DIET. if i was religiously journalling (which i'm not) then i know i would succeed. i probably also need to boost up the cardio and stick to it. i've got a bike...why in the fuck am i not riding it as much as i can while i can?? saddle sores cant and shouldnt deter me either.
i've got that stupid trip to cancun with the inlaws in december which i need to put in front of me and remind myself that i've got to work hard to look good. those judgy cunts are always critical, so i need to work hard to look good, or better than i do now. ideally it would be so awesome to eat clean and reap the rewards of working hard and not be flabby come december.
i've been tossing around the idea of doing P90X. i've seen the infomercials and been wondering if it's something i could do. of course it means doing it at home and trying to find the space and time to do it in. scratch that: i have time, i just need to MAKE time. anyway, they claim that if you follow their workouts etc, you'll look different come 90 days from when you started. i'm intrigued. there's part of me that wants to try it and just see how i'd change, or if i'd change at all.
of course i wont give up my Y membership because i do like it there and enjoy that i can do my own thing and feel as if i'm kicking my own ass. i'd just like to take it up a notch is all...
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