tasha

i keep feeling pressure to do something about tasha before i go to ORD next weekend.

she's been old and ricketty for a while now.  and if you read in older posts, you'll see that i figured 2010 was her year to pass on, not sid's.

so now she's looking ratty, skinny, and occasionally leaves runny poop behind her if she sits.  it's gross.  i am getting tired of cleaning it off the carpets and floors, always running around after her when she's sitting for any length of time.

there are some mornings i come downstairs to hope that the good lord or mother nature or whatever deity has taken her peacefully in the night.  nothing ever comes that easy in dealing with animals, tho.  wishful thinking.  lately when i've come down, she's sitting in one position looking rather miserable.  sad even.  i'll go up to her and her face will light up and she will meow and get up and start her day.  some days when i come out of the bathroom, she is right there waiting.  mostly now, she's downstairs sitting on the couch.

i dont remember her having these poop problems up till about 3 months ago.  and YES, i could take her to a vet, but what are they going to do, really?  give her medication?  really?  at 16 or 17? 

and of course now that ORD lingers over my head much the same way OGG did.  i felt immense pressure to DO something about sid before i left.  as it was, mother nature intervened and she worsened till the decision was easier.  (not "Easy" easy, but the decision to euthanize her was easier than doing it a few weeks prior)

so yeah, now i've got this stupid ORD trip and i'm worried that ferg might have to deal with the ailing cat on his own.  and i think it would be terrible if she slid for the worse and he had to take her in.

i'm going to have to leave him a directive and a credit card number just in case i think. 

but fuck, just writing that now makes me sad.  fuck these stupid emotions and grey days and sad songs.